The other day I accidentally deleted an entire morning of work.
I realized fighting it wouldn't do anything to undelete my work.
I didn't want to let it go because I needed the work to get done.
So, I chose to fix and move forward!
This simple categorization is a great tool! Have a client that is fighting, or pushing, against a situation to identify if they need to move into fixing it, or forgetting it and move-on. Simple.
However, just like any basic tool, if we skip over the human element, a tool will fall flat or lose efficiency.
With this tool there is a surprising key element to applying this tool that can be easily overlooked. In coaching, if we help our clients move through this key element, they will have more grounded results.
The key element? Grieving.
When I realized I lost all of my hard work by my own human error, my face flushed, I felt hot, angry and in disbelief.
I wanted to fight it, stamp my feet and have all my work return!
I took a deep breath. Sunk into the reality. Allowed my upset to move through so I could be present enough to fix it.
This is a small scale example. What about bigger losses, conflicts and inner-fights with ourselves?
Same principle. Once we allow ourselves to grieve, allow the emotion to move through, then we can return to presence, choice and intention.
Application: When you notice your client is stuck in fight, help them first grieve, allow the emotions that surfaced and then, when they are ready, help them move into action with a heart at peace.
Laurel Inman, PCC
IICT Founder / Senior Faculty