My 15 year old daughter approached me, “Mom, what do you think about the nature/nuture debate?”
Sometimes I get mommy brain and reply to the kids rather automatically. This time, the answer that came through for her astounded even me.
I responded, “Is it nature? Is it nuture? It is both. Yet, it is who we choose to be that matters the most.” My years in coach training and self-examination came through strong and clear.
Yes, we have hard wiring. We see this in Myers-Briggs. No matter how much I want to become an extrovert I will always be wired to need ample quiet reflective time. Yes, I can learn to be outgoing, and mimic my extroverted counterparts, but I will never thrive on socializing like my brother-in-law does. It is not in my DNA.
Yes, we also have conditioning and influence from our environment. I grew up in the country, I love outdoors and I value tradition and community as a result. My parents taught me how to love, to follow my heart and climb trees. I learned from them and will continue to gain from their love, heart and wisdom over the years to come.
At some point though, we have the awareness to look at who we’ve become and decide if it is who we want to be and what we want to do about this thing called "life".
At this point, we have a choice about who we become. When this becomes a conscious choice, we start our own path, our own hero's journey.
This point of creation is also where coaching comes in. We are asking our clients to self-identify. Who are you? What do you truly believe? What do you want? What do you value? What are your priorities?
In the Toltec teachings, I’ve learned that we must abandon our dependency on our parents in order to step into our lives as a warrior, or we will live out our life as a victim.
This phase of warrior is what establishes our independence. Then, if we choose we can step out of the fight in life and into our own mastery.. this phase they call the Master. It is an interdependent phase where our potential is integrated into the fabric of the life we've carved out.
There is one bridge, and one bridge alone, into mastery... this bridge is true Self-Knowledge. Here we are examining the vast difference between false self-knowledge and true.
Take a look (overview download below).
This week’s lesson also speaks to the fact that we sometimes have to remind our clients that they have choice over who they choose to be. This overview opens a path to help us move into "the Real", as the Sufi's say.
WE ARE EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THE LAUNCH OF OUR NEW CONTINUING EDUCATION COMMUNITY.
CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE & JOIN!
"Quality is not perfection, it is preparedness."
~ note sitting on my desk
At the conclusion of each year I reflect on what I’ve accomplished, what I’ve learned, new wisdoms gleamed from any challenges I faced and what I wish to accomplish in the new year.
Each year I pick a word to strengthen my abilities and hold the container for my growth. This year, the word that gifted its way into my heart is “quality”.
This year is not going to be about doing more. It is about taking what I have and fine tuning it.
This year is not going to be about perfection. Perfection is an unsustainable goal. But this year will be about preparedness.
This year also won’t be about accomplishing more. This year will be about masterfully delving deeper into what is ready to flourish.
Through quality, the beacon of mastery beckons.
Through quality, we see, feel, touch and experience the optimal.
Through quality, we grow deeper roots and as the saying goes, the deeper the roots the taller the tree.
The irony is this: When we choose one characteristic to focus on,
we empower other areas of our life naturally.
By focusing on quality, more incidentally gets done. Focusing on quality, we may hit moments of perfection. By focusing on quality, more accomplishments will be had and positive growth will ensue.
I invite you to consider… what is your “quality” this year?
In Sufi traditions, a quality is an aspect of the Divine that empowers, heals, and lends to our wholeness. Focusing on one quality at a time fertilizes the entire garden of this life that we keep.
Each year I gift myself a reflective process that honors the year that has passed and empowers the year that is now standing before me.
I set aside 4-6 hours of quiet retreat time to get cozy and reflect on:
I co-created this process with a dear friend years ago. We did a retreat day together by a fire and really allowed ourselves to go deeper into lessons and intentions. I noticed that by doing this the year ahead of me was so much more successful than the years I'd only set goals without a container of support around them.
I've now done this process and improved upon it every year since.
I hope this process is an empowering gift to you, that you will continue to gift yourself each year to come.
Happy 2018 friends!! Thank you for being here.
By Laurel Elders, PCC
IICT Founder / Senior Faculty