My 15 year old daughter approached me, “Mom, what do you think about the nature/nuture debate?”
Sometimes I get mommy brain and reply to the kids rather automatically. This time, the answer that came through for her astounded even me.
I responded, “Is it nature? Is it nuture? It is both. Yet, it is who we choose to be that matters the most.” My years in coach training and self-examination came through strong and clear.
Yes, we have hard wiring. We see this in Myers-Briggs. No matter how much I want to become an extrovert I will always be wired to need ample quiet reflective time. Yes, I can learn to be outgoing, and mimic my extroverted counterparts, but I will never thrive on socializing like my brother-in-law does. It is not in my DNA.
Yes, we also have conditioning and influence from our environment. I grew up in the country, I love outdoors and I value tradition and community as a result. My parents taught me how to love, to follow my heart and climb trees. I learned from them and will continue to gain from their love, heart and wisdom over the years to come.
At some point though, we have the awareness to look at who we’ve become and decide if it is who we want to be and what we want to do about this thing called "life".
At this point, we have a choice about who we become. When this becomes a conscious choice, we start our own path, our own hero's journey.
This point of creation is also where coaching comes in. We are asking our clients to self-identify. Who are you? What do you truly believe? What do you want? What do you value? What are your priorities?
In the Toltec teachings, I’ve learned that we must abandon our dependency on our parents in order to step into our lives as a warrior, or we will live out our life as a victim.
This phase of warrior is what establishes our independence. Then, if we choose we can step out of the fight in life and into our own mastery.. this phase they call the Master. It is an interdependent phase where our potential is integrated into the fabric of the life we've carved out.
There is one bridge, and one bridge alone, into mastery... this bridge is true Self-Knowledge. Here we are examining the vast difference between false self-knowledge and true.
Take a look (overview download below).
This week’s lesson also speaks to the fact that we sometimes have to remind our clients that they have choice over who they choose to be. This overview opens a path to help us move into "the Real", as the Sufi's say.
By Laurel Elders, PCC
IICT Founder / Senior Faculty