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Articles on Coaching
​- Integrative Intelligence -

Leadership Coaching Specialization is open!!

1/8/2021

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Learn more by visiting:
>>> Leadership Coaching Specialization <<<
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Happy Holidays from IICT!

12/28/2020

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Welcome to the last week in 2020! Guess what? 

You made it through a very trying year!! Congrats! 

What have you learned? What have you overcome? How are you stronger, clearer and ready to serve the excellence within yourself and others?

We are grateful you are here.
We are grateful you are part of helping the world be a better place.
We are grateful for the impactful world of coaching.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year from our hearts to yours!
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Coaching & Mental Health During a Global Pandemic

12/21/2020

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When considering the stressors of 2020 I feel a variety of emotions. On one hand I'm impressed by how resilient humanity is. On the other hand I'm saddened. The constraints all of have felt around being stuck at home, or teaching kids while working, or losing touch with our friends/family in physical proximity has taken a toll on many.

We have a coaching tool called the Map to Mastery. The map explains how when life gets imbalanced, this puts us in touch with our relationship to our life. Our relationship to ourselves, our environment, our freedoms, our boundaries and our relationships to others. Many of us are coming face to face with all of these relationships.

Today's resource looks at how the pandemic has left an impact and the role coaching can play in mental "health". Having a healthy mindset can shape happier outcomes.
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COVID-19 has Changed Coaching

In the weeks leading up to the UK’s coronavirus lockdown, I was feeling incredibly anxious, unusually tense and to be honest, frightened. I knew my mental well-being wasn’t great and yet acknowledging this was difficult. Luckily for me, these emotions were short lived, and I quickly bounced back into a more positive place.

(Read the full article online HERE) 

Coaching Fundamentals I-III:

January 19th
Coaching Definitions / Industry Standards / Coaching Demo

January 26th
Anatomy of an Effective Coaching Session / Coaching Demo

February 2nd
Coach & Client Responsibilities / How to Avoid Hijacking your Client / Stages of Partnering
  • TIMES: 3-5pm PST / 6-8pm EST
  • FORMAT: Zoom Webinar - interactive
  • TUITION: $600
  • APPLY ONLINE: > Click HERE <
  • Fundamentals counts towards full certification.


Questions? We are here to help!
Email us: admin@integrativecoachtraining.com
Or click reply and submit your question.
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ICF Annual Coaching Report is in!

12/14/2020

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The International Coaching Federation conducts global research on coaching as a booming profession. The results are in and if you hadn't seen them yet, the link is below. This is the research compiled from the 2019 global coaching surveys.
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Annual Report

Or copy and paste the url:
https://coachfederation.org/app/uploads/2020/11/ICF_2019_AnnualReport.pdf?inf_contact_key=3105c7867b7064a81d5a94c599bebd0cf651f238aa2edbb9c8b7cff03e0b16a0

Do you know one or two people who should be receiving these articles? Let them know and encourage them to subscribe by forwarding them this link:
https://www.integrativecoachtraining.com/newsletter.html


Coaching Fundamentals I-III:

January 19th
Coaching Definitions / Industry Standards / Coaching Demo

January 26th 
Anatomy of an Effective Coaching Session / Coaching Demo

February 2nd 
Coach & Client Responsibilities / How to Avoid Hijacking your Client / Stages of Partnering
  • TIMES: 3-5pm PST / 6-8pm EST
  • FORMAT: Zoom Webinar - interactive
  • TUITION: $600
  • APPLY ONLINE: > Click HERE <
  • Fundamentals counts towards full certification.


Questions? We are here to help!
Email us: admin@integrativecoachtraining.com
Or click reply and submit your question.
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5 Signs You May Be Overdue for a Coaching Tune-up

12/7/2020

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The approaching year is an EXCELLENT time for a coaching tune up! Have you reached out to your coach lately? 

I offer a full and half-day tune up for existing clients. Your coach may offer something similar. Longer year end sessions allow you to review:
  1. What have I learned this year? 
  2. What can I celebrate?
  3. What learning can I take with me into the next year?
  4. What are my three focal points for next year?
  5. What goals support those focal points?
  6. What parts of me need to be engaged to support my success?
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Coaching Resource of the Week:
5 Signs You May Be Overdue
for a Coaching Tune-up

by Cheryl Proctor-Rogers, PCC
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Those of us who are vehicle owners want to make sure our cars will get us through the winter or dog days of summer. Unfortunately, the average person rarely schedules the inspection or gets the tune-up. Service is called when the unthinkable happens: a total breakdown!

(Read the full article HERE)

Or copy and paste this link into your browser:
https://experiencecoaching.com/coaching-tune-up/?inf_contact_key=176a3e7db4082bc42dfef27f25643e107e470d92b8b75168d98a0b8cac0e9c09
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Life in Transition

11/30/2020

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Life in Transition
What will I do now?  I’ve asked myself this question many times in life when something occurs that will cause change to happen.  I’ve never been a fan of change.  In fact, I have and still do, dread it.  When things change, it creates a whole universe of newness that I have to think about in order to make the transition from one way of living to another.  Transitions are uncertain and our brains are not wired to like uncertainty.  Over the course of my life, I have found ways to help me balance my dread with hope and I will share what I’ve discovered here.  ​

Transitions can occur from changes in life situations such as marriage, divorce, death of a loved one, new jobs, loss of a job, children being born, children leaving home, retirement, and buying a new home.  All of these changes can uproot our way of life, causing stress.  Even when the changes are exciting, we are stepping into unchartered territory.  For some of us, change can be a bit easier if we enjoy the novelty of new ventures while others have a harder time because we enjoy the comfort the status quo affords us.  Despite all of the differences in people’s personalities that influence their comfort with change, we can all be affected mentally and emotionally by upheavals in our lives. 

So how do we maintain some balance in life during times of transition?  Some of the first things that happen in transition, is that we lose our sense of direction and stop taking care of ourselves.  We eat poorly, don’t get enough sleep, push ourselves too hard or shut down, and we fall off our schedules.  All of this is due to uncertainty of the unknown.  Here are some ideas to help bring about more balance:

1.  Make a schedule/plan – this helps to alleviate some of the uncertainty by creating clear    intentions and steps of action along with time frames for these.  Be specific with your intentions.  The more specific you are with these, the less uncertainty you will experience. 

2.  Allow yourself to grieve – whether you are grieving the loss of a loved one or any part of your life that is no longer the same, it’s important to be gentle with yourself and realize that this process takes time.  Reach out for help from friends, family, support groups, therapists, or life coaches.  Going it alone can increase your chances for anxiety and/or depression. 

3.  Give yourself time for breaks – being focused helps you meet your action steps in your schedule or plan but it’s not effective to stay focused all day.  Your brain needs to rest so it’s a good idea to pause throughout the day by taking short power naps, meditating, taking a walk, or engaging in a fun relaxing hobby.  Focus helps develop the structure we need but creating time for breaks offers us a more rounded day that keeps us refreshed and less likely to burn-out or give up. 

4.  Take care of yourself – eat healthy food, get exercise, get enough sleep, and find time to meditate or do some of the things you enjoy doing.  Reach out to friends and family for social time. Schedule time with a professional if you need help with any of your self-care, including releasing and processing emotions. 

Finally, shifting your perspective so you can look at your transition time as having some positive results instead of just being all bad, will open you to new possibilities.  We can begin to see some beautiful opportunities and life paths open up even when we are dealing with deep wells of pain and grief.  Through support, self-care, and self-love we can better maintain our mental and physical health so that we can step into a new way of life with balance.  We can be open to embrace new adventures that we would have never known if our life stayed exactly as it was. 

Darcie Litwicki is an Integrative Life Coach that combines solid coaching skills and working with horses to create a dynamic and transformative coaching process for people to reach their personal and professional goals. She believes her clients are the experts in their own lives and that we all have the ability to reach our highest potential but sometimes we need to engage in the coaching process to get there.

Have you scheduled your free 60-minute coaching session to determine if this is a good fit for you in your life?  Contact Darcie to get scheduled.  You can schedule Equine Assisted Coaching In-Person Sessions at Silver Heart Ranch or sessions online (Zoom), or by phone.  Darcie also offers a variety of group coaching options, workshops, and online classes.  Contact her to learn more!   

Connect with Darcie
www.silverheartranch.com
darcielitwicki@gmail.com
Facebook: @SilverHeartRanch
(520) 370-8093
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Happy Thanksgiving Message

11/23/2020

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We all wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday! We hope it is full of grace, gratitude and glee.

We were unable to get you a current team picture due to covid, so please enjoy this oldie but goody!!

Much love,
Team IICT

Administration:
Kate Ashton
Laurel Elders
Lauren Stidham
Patrick Elders

Faculty:
Dori Klass - Know Thyself & Parts Work in Coaching
Howie Adams - The Neurobiology of Emotional Intelligence & Somatics
Karen Cappello - The Energy of Success
Kristen Truman-Allen - Evoking Excellence through Metaphor
Laurel Elders - Lead Faculty
Nancy Smyth - The Anatomy of Peace
Rebecca Smith - Referring Out
Suzanne McFarlin - Leadership Specialization
Tabitha Danloe - Business Launch!
Tamica Sears - Leadership Specialization

In memory of Sandy Hogan, our beloved friend and colleague. ​
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We start soon!
- Apply for early-registration - 

Coaching Fundamentals I-III:

December 1st 
Coaching Definitions / Industry Standards / Coaching Demo

December 8th 
Anatomy of an Effective Coaching Session / Coaching Demo

December 15th 
Coach & Client Responsibilities / How to Avoid Hijacking your Client / Stages of Partnering
  • TIMES: 3-5pm PST / 6-8pm EST
  • FORMAT: Zoom Webinar - interactive
  • TUITION: $600
  • APPLY ONLINE: > Click HERE <


Questions? We are here to help!
Email us: admin@integrativecoachtraining.com
Or click reply and submit your question.
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Becoming a Better Coach by Developing Your Intuition

11/16/2020

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by: Dez Stephens, ACC
 
Read the full article here:
https://bit.ly/30gMRZt

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Coaching Fundamentals I-III:
 
December 1st 
Coaching Definitions / Industry Standards / Coaching Demo
 
December 8th 
Anatomy of an Effective Coaching Session / Coaching Demo
 
December 15th 
Coach & Client Responsibilities / How to Avoid Hijacking your Client / Stages of Partnering
 
  • TIMES: 3-5pm PST / 6-8pm EST
  • FORMAT: Zoom Webinar - interactive
  • TUITION: $600
  • APPLY ONLINE: > Click HERE <
 
Questions? We are here to help!
Email us: admin@integrativecoachtraining.com
Or click reply and submit your question.
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Rediscover Your Life

11/9/2020

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​Last week we looked the steps to amplifying business success. Amplifying is one aspect. Creating short-cuts to success is another empowering aspect to success. 
 
Stepping into coaching allows us to eliminate blocks to success including: blind-spots, self-sabotage, limiting mindsets and resistance.
 
To step fully into your brilliance, get coached.
 
Coaching help us eliminate what is in the way so that the shortest path to success becomes natural and evident. 
 
Coaching was the top game changer in my life, my heart, my parenting and my career. Coaching is why I'm here today connecting with you.
 
As Simon Sinek says, "Failure we can do alone. Success takes help."
 
This week is another excellent video on the power of coaching. I am so proud of this profession!
 
I hope you enjoy.
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Is Overnight Success Real?

11/2/2020

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Do you have a big business goal you wish to accomplish in life? Do you feel like you are not accomplishing it fast enough? Is overnight business success actually real?

I get it. It took me years to learn the success principles, face my fears and understand marketing so that I could have a cozy coaching practice to finally lean into full time. I realize that I definitely could have accomplished this in a much shorter time frame.

With all of the media making it look like people are overnight successes and so many people marketing “get rich quick formulas”, it makes sense we beat ourselves up for not being a success in 3 months.

On a small business association pamphlet I read that the average successful business takes 3-5 years to get fully launched. I also listened to a highly successful entrepreneur share that in his experience every overnight success he met was already 10 years in the making.

While this news might feel disheartening, it doesn’t have to. Think of it this way. If you take 3 years to build a successful business and it supports you for 10, 20 or 30 years it would have been absolutely hands down worth it. Also, the years of hard earned wisdom and experience you have already accumulated counts towards your success. 

Also, with a streamlined marketing plan people can grow a coaching clientele much faster than the 3-5 year brick and mortar store.

Well, I am here now, very deeply grateful I never gave up my vision for success.

Here are 5 steps to amplify your business success:

1) Don’t give up your day job. I know this piece of advice is typically disappointing to hear. After all, you are excited about your vision and want to be living it already! I completely get that. However, if you are stressed over finances this can steeply impact the quality of work you produce. Even working part-time can give you consistent buoyancy so you can focus.

2) Give yourself a bigger window to see from. You don’t get a degree overnight. It takes 2-4 years. This is just like business success. It takes time, so give yourself time. Take the pressure off. For example: When we tell ourselves that we only have 3 months to have a full client load, we might freak out. When we tell ourselves that we have a full year to get the ball rolling, we can feel the spaciousness in that. This ease allows us to deliver quality work.

3) Be strategic and streamlined. Focus on accomplishing one goal at a time. Many new business owners fail because they take on too many goals at once, spread themselves too thin and flop. Switch your mindset from quantity to delivering quality. Quality and focused work will get you success much faster.

4) Don’t go it alone. There are people who have learned the hard way, learned the short-cuts and are greatly successful. Learn from them. Reinventing the wheel will take ten times longer. Tip: Stick with a coach/consultant when it comes to business success. The consulting will show you what to do and what to avoid. Then they will coach you on crafting your success formula. Other people’s success formulas work for them and their success doesn’t mean it will work for you. Avoid signing up for formulaic programs that look exciting but…. you are following someone else’s success formula! Those (typically overpriced) programs have a high failure rate.

5) Nourish your vision. Literally spend time thinking about what you LOVE LOVE LOVE about your vision. Envision you are already living it. Spending time in the positive energy of your vision and connecting with why you are embarking on this path will help you attract success. If people ask you about your services and you are self-conscious or divided between excitement and overwhelm, this comes across. If people ask about your services and you beam with love, it is noticeable and contagious! Many successful people spend anywhere from 5-30 minutes each morning before they start their day, focusing on their goals and nourishing them.
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How to Locate Your Life Purpose

10/26/2020

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Have you ever considered what your life purpose is? If you are reading this, or called to coaching, odds are you have!

Today's resource is a podcast where we explore:
  1. What is the definition of Life Purpose?
  2. What is the difference between a life purpose and a calling?
  3. The formula to discovering your life purpose.
  4. Much more
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When Coaching Calls, Don't Hang Up!

10/19/2020

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Do you feel called to coach? The majority of our students report feeling the call. I am here now because and felt the call and decided to follow it and trust it. 

A life purpose can be something you choose. A calling chooses you.

The ICF has been featuring people who have been able to follow what is calling them and accomplish great things despite odds, because of coaching. 

This week we are featuring Minouche Lusakivana. Minouche went from lawyer to visionary baker 
extraordinaire. Enjoy her story!
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Resource of the Week: Career Coaching, Defining Values, LeadershipCoaching

10/12/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week: ICF AZ - Featured Coach

10/5/2020

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Everyone's journey with coaching is unique. I have found that people are called to coaching when something inside of them is ready to awaken. This is different for everyone.

While each coach has their own unique path and relationship to coaching, it can be helpful to connect with other coaches and learn more about their journey.

In the upcoming months we will be sharing more interviews. Today, we are sharing and interview I was honored to be asked to do with the International Coach Federation Arizona Chapter. 

I hope my journey and path with coaching inspires you in some way on yours. You will also notice links at the bottom to other featured coaches as well!
Laurel Elders, PCC, CEC
Read interview here: 
https://icfarizona.org/featured-coach
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Coaching Memorial of the Week                                         Sandy Hogan                                                                                    Written by Peter Hogan, Sa

9/28/2020

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Monday, September 21st, will be the first anniversary of my wife Sandy's passing. The first six months went by so slowly and the last six months so fast.The first three months were really hard. I am so glad I had our dog as a companion. His unconditional love, enthusiasm and goofiness kept me going. I am doing all right thanks to loving care of Sandy's mother, three sisters and four of Sandy's dear friends, Willow Sibert, Priscilla Misner, John and Laurel Elders. They check in with me often and I call them my "angels."

OUR FOREVER HOME
I am living at the same address on Salt Cedar Dr, Oro Valley, AZ. The house is a little big, 1900 sq feet, for one person but I insisted with our children to continue to live here. After 8 years of renting, being at the mercy of a landlord, we decided to buy a house. It was going to be our "forever" home. We started looking for a home in April 2019 when Sandy first started having back and stomach pains and was seeing her doctor. We closed escrow and moved in June 1st. On July 1st her oncologist told us Sandy's cancer was treatable, not curable. July 31st, Sandy was admitted to the hospital because she was having trouble breathing. Sandy was in the hospital 3 weeks, then in rehab for 3 weeks trying to get strong enough to come home. She passed on September 21st. She never made it back to her" forever" home after living there for only 2 months.

I wanted to live in the" forever home" to fulfill our wish. I am very happy because I am living in a home that Sandy decorated in her style with her things and art work, some of which bring pleasant memories. In the great room, I have Sandy's urn, with a vase of fresh flowers, surrounded by pictures of her family. I talk to her in my thoughts and every night before I go to bed, I pat the top of her urn and say "goodnight sweetheart, I'll see you in my dreams." Since Sandy's passing I dream of her much more often than when she was alive... at least three or four nights a week. I think of it as her way of telling me she is with me.

SANDY AND PETER - A LOVE STORY
After Sandy passed, I went through boxes of family pictures looking for pictures of Sandy for a photo scrapbook that her sister, Janet Luzzi was making for showing at Sandy's Celebration of Life
 https://youtu.be/fgWCHScIJYA. 

Because of the corona virus, we never got that celebration.

I was reminded just how beautiful a woman she was and I was smitten the first moment I saw her. In her later years she did not look like a woman her age. In the scrapbook there is a picture of Sandy in a clown suit. That was taken on Halloween day 1976, the day I met her. I was a Sergeant with the Humboldt County Sheriff's Department and I came to the junior high school to give a talk to the students. The principal put me in Sandy's English class. He introduced her as Miss Luzzi. I definitely caught the Miss. What an attractive teacher!! I talked to three classes and between classes I am trying to get to know more about her. She is having none of it. It was the down to business side of Sandy that some of you have seen.

In the afternoon, I was going to talk to a class at the high school across the road. The principal put me in the teacher's lounge for lunch. It was crowded with teachers most of them in Halloween costumes. During that time I am sitting by myself. I hear someone say Miss Luzzi and they were talking to this person dressed as a clown. I thought to myself how can she go from a gorgeous woman to Bozo the clown. Because I was so embarrassed that I acted like an ass that morning, I made sure she wouldn't see me by crawling under the seat cushions.

I knew I was coming back to the high school the next week to talk to 2 classes. During that time, I got the bright idea to send her a bouquet of flowers to apologize for my behavior. I was able to get her home address. The next week at the high school, I had just started my talk when this stunningly beautiful woman comes in the classroom, walks up real close to me and almost in a whisper thanks me for the flowers and invites me to share her lunch in her classroom.. That's It! I am hooked.

It was a long time later that I realized I was set up. Why would a teacher come to school in a dress, with high heels, wearing earrings and a necklace? Why would said teacher pack TWO tuna fish sandwiches that particular day? I was hooked, yes I was smitten from that day until September 21, 2019. Sandy is the love of my life!!

Sandy passed before all the turmoil and crisis in our country with the corona virus, unemployment, kids out of school, racism and climate change has made a country she would not recognize. Fortunately her dream ticket of Biden/Harris became a reality. I miss Sandy for what she brought to all of you and me and her community.

REMEMBERING SANDY
Sandy was the most positive person in a real way, that I ever met. She was non judgmental, kind, generous, caring and always giving of herself and time for others. Most of all she was a good listener. With people being scared, fearful, and the continuing crisis by the president and his followers that certainly will get worse, Sandy is not here when we most need her. 

The day after Sandy passed, her family and my brother's family had dinner together prior to their leaving back to California. At that time, I announced to the family that I was going to establish a Sandy Hogan Memorial Scholarship fund at the Institute for Integrative Coach Training. It had been noodling in my head since I knew Sandy was terminal. This school started out several years ago as a Coaching program through Prescott College by Sandy and Laurel Elders. When Prescott College cancelled the program, Sandy and Laurel continued it on their own with Laurel being the backbone devoting her full time and Sandy being the advisor and one of the instructors Laurel is an early protege and student of Sandy's. It evolved into the Institute for Integrative Coach Training. 

The Institute and the Enneagram were Sandy's two great passions. It is my dream that the scholarship will assist future coaches to learn and apply Sandy's coaching philosophy and to make it a perpetual scholarship after I have passed. I have started making a quarterly contribution.
SANDY'S LEGACY
If you want to continue to honor the legacy of Sandy's coaching work, please consider donating to this scholarship fund named in Sandy's honor. Visit:


www.integrativecoachtraining.com/sandylegacyscholarships.html and https://www.integrativecoachtraining.com/sandy.html.

In the Sandy thanks you address, there is a booklet you can download Called "Follow Your Calling". It is interviews Laurel had with Sandy in the last three weeks of her life.

Thank you all for being in Sandy's life. We are forever grateful that she was in ours.

With Love,

Peter
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Why am I confused?

9/21/2020

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In coaching, we believe that we all have our own answers within and we are the experts of our own life. Coaching rests on the premise that each person is whole, complete and does not need fixing or advice to reach their full potential.   

If we are whole and complete, and if we have our own answers, then this naturally begs the question, “If I have all of my own answers, then why do I feel lost? If I am whole and complete, then why do I feel so fragmented today?”
 
Coaching provides powerful answers to these questions. These are the five teachings found in coaching:

  1. We are whole and complete, but we don't always realize it.
  2. Blind-spots, fear and limiting beliefs block us from experiencing our wholeness. 
  3. Coaches provide outsider observations helping us see with clarity, eliminate self-sabotage and locate blind-spots. 
  4. Having a skilled outsider helps us see the trees from the forest so that solutions go from cloudy to clear.
  5. When we give ourselves space to be seen and heard in a safe, creative, exploratory setting, our Highest-Self has a chance to show us the way.
We may not have all the answers right away when a problem arises, but they are within. They do become clear when we give them the space to surface.  

The Course in Miracles teaches that our true-self carries wisdom's that are born from our wholeness. Yet, the fears of the ego block that wisdom and so we look to others for solutions. Furthermore it teaches that the ego is loud, judgmental and quick to cause panic. The true self will never panic, or yell. It's answers lead only to peace and empowerment. 

A skilled coach helps us step into the true-self and shed the false. Being coached is a powerful and transformative process, rooting us deeper into our potential through our own wisdom. 

Coaching unlocks new possibilities showing us that we do indeed have our own answers, we did all along, even when it didn't seem like it. We are indeed whole and complete, we have been our entire lives, even when it didn't feel like it.   

This is why coaching feels magical, yet is also so practical.  Coaching illuminates new possibilities, yet is grounding.  Coaching captures the essence of potential. 
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The Art of Removing Inner Obstacles

9/14/2020

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When I was around 4 years old I had a phobia. I was really panicked about swimming and water. 

My extreme fear of water landed me in swimming lessons. This was an attempt to lessen my fright and eventually learn how to swim.  

I remember the day of my first lesson very clearly.

The swim instructor was very outgoing and friendly. There were a lot of kids splashing around, which felt intimidating. I refused to get off that first step. Anxiety pumped through my veins. I was perfectly intent on staying securely on the pool’s edge.

My instructor came over and asked me to come with her. I eventually agreed and grabbed onto her for dear life as she peeled me off of the pool’s edge. 

She walked with me on her hip, bouncing us gently, into deeper and deeper waters. She reassured me every step of the way, “You are safe. You are ok. It’s ok, you can trust me. See, you are ok.” 

I clung to her petrified. Then slowly gave in and began to trust that everything was actually ok and I was safe. 

And then.... 

The game changed.

She grabbed me tight. She pulled me under the water without any warning.

Seconds felt like an eternity.. I wanted out, I couldn't breath, the rug had been pulled, anxiety turned into panic. I was horrified, stuck and helpless. I held my breath in the sheer terror, I squirmed trying to free myself to breath again.

Finally, she let me up.

I think I screamed. Probably for my mother’s arms. The nightmare was over. Or was it? 

I look back and realize this woman had the fully fledged intention of showing me I could survive going under water. However, what was accomplished was the opposite. My fear and panic were now anchored in for life. 

Without knowing it, my perception of the world shifted that day too.

“Adults are not trustworthy.”
“Just when I feel safe, the rug gets pulled.”
“Life is chaotic and unpredictable.”
“I’m not safe especially when someone tells me I am.”

These perceptions become the filters we see the world through. These perceptions often live beneath our awareness, until we unearth them.

“Adults are not trustworthy.” Not only does not serve me, it is not true. This unconscious belief wrecked havoc throughout my teenage years until I became aware of it and could heal it. 

We take these with us, consciously or not, to keep us safe. The limit of them is that they eventually keep us small, keep us from blooming fully and keep us looping in predictable patterns.

Thinking back to a fearful experience you remember (one that is not overwhelming to recall), what beliefs did you take away from that moment? 

Are these beliefs true today? Do you they serve you? What is the truth?
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This is not only a process of pulling out the weeds in our unconscious beliefs. It is about planting new seeds. The truth does set us free.
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Human Potential is an Impressive Journey

9/7/2020

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Human potential is a journey… 

On the first stretch of this journey, we can be shown the way. This guidance can be found in books, mentoring, advising, counseling, or anytime we need to look to others for the answers that will guide us to a new understanding. 

Yet, there is a time in our life when the answers provided to us may become the very box of our limitation. In this moment, we realize we are at a crossroads; to continue the way we've been shown or to pave the remainder of our life through our own wisdom. 

To truly reach our human potential, one must journey beyond the walls of external provision and begin to journey among the answers embedded within.  

The second stretch of this journey is accessed from going within to explore the depths of the wisdom embedded within the heart of knowing. 

To support our client’s second journey and masterfully coach we must show up as a completely neutral vessel to hold a potentiated space for our client’s unfolding. 

As a coach, we are the lantern to the client's true Essence, to the seeds of potential embedded within aching to be born. We are the Sherpa's journeying with our clients to their unique personal apex.

What is their truth? What is their wisdom? What jewels are buried within their heart? What gifts are hidden within? 

In masterful coaching we must sit in the unknowing

to be of service to the client’s knowing.
________________
Laurel Elders, PCC, CEC is the founder and CEO of the ICF Accredited, Institute for Integrative Coach Training (IICT), headquartered in Tucson, AZ.  Laurel began her career as a coach in 2005 after noticing that we are living in pivotal times and that coaching is powerfully tapping into the next phase of human potential in ways never before experienced.

IICT is invested in bringing the highest levels of coaching, training and mentoring into a world that needs people's gifts, talents, purpose and heart, now more than ever. IICT coaches are successful torch holders for positive impact, locally and globally, in service to the generations ahead.
​

Learn more about becoming a Certified Professional Integrative Coach (CPIC) Program www.integrativecoachtraining.com/training.htm
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Three Steps to Emotional Buoyancy in the world of Covid-19~ Follow Your Calling!

9/1/2020

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I invite you to consider a buoy. It floats atop the water, despite storms it remains in its spot. It is a boundary of safety to communities of ships, surfers and swimmers.

Buoys are tethered, anchored and grounded. If they weren't they would float away being tossed aside and turned around wherever the current was going that day. 

It is one thing to float above, but without a tether to ground the buoy, it loses all purpose.

To ponder: Are you feeling ungrounded and is life throwing you about? Are you tethered, but to false beliefs? To what are you tethered?  

As human beings when we tether to the ego out of fear, we become limited in our capacity and life feels overwhelming.

However, when we tether to a greater purpose, through our own inner wisdom we can rise above and thrive. When life feels enriched by meaning we can go to bed with a happy heart even if times are stressful. 

The next question is: What is your medicine in this lifetime? 

I learned that some Native American traditions believe that everyone and everything has a medicine to it. This medicine benefits those around it, or needing it. 

Becoming a coach, I learned that each human being has gifts within. This is our medicine for the world. When we live in our gifts we help others. Each gift is unique. Each gift can serve a greater purpose.

Sadly, many people do not realize their gifts, life calling, or their medicine because the ego harbors fearful messages like, “Stay safe!” “Don’t follow your heart.” “It is dangerous out there." "You have to fend for yourself after you fail.” "You are all alone." These will absolutely keep anyone small. 

Fortunately, your heart has the answers to dispel all of the fears your ego can conjure up.

~ Are you listening to the heart or the ego?

~ Do you know what your medicine is in this lifetime?

~ Are you following your calling? 
​
I double-dog dare you to follow your calling, give your gifts to the people who need them, and amplify what life has in store for you!
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Three Steps to Emotional Buoyancyin the world of Covid-19~ Step Two: Rise Above ~

8/24/2020

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There is an ancient Cherokee legend teaching about two wolves within each person that fight to rule our life. One is full of fear, rage, greed, superiority and evil doings. The other is goodness, compassion, love, grace, wisdom and positive doings. The essence of the legend teaches the wolf that wins the fight is the one you feed.

I’m sure you have noticed humanity is living more divided than ever. Media allows people to play out emotional hit and runs. It is easy to throw a jab online and then run and hide behind a screen without any real and meaningful conversations to get to the bottom of real issues.

The forefathers said it best, “United we stand; Divided we fall.” 

First, I just want to say that I get the stress of this. It is not easy to live in a world where technological advancements are growing at a faster rate than our collective emotional intelligence is. 

If you look at the emotional development of society as a whole, we are seeing a trend of black and white thinking and low maturity levels. I’m sure you have noticed: Arguing versus integrating, lashing out versus helping things go right, shock humor winning the ratings, people aching for connection and community and fearing it at the same time, being quick to judge versus understand or some people just feel like a victim to it all so they do nothing. 

It is no wonder we feel overwhelmed and then COVID just became the straw that broke the camel’s back for many.

It is completely normal to feel anxious and upset when things are out of balance in many areas. Deep down we know there is a better way. Deep down we want to contribute to things going right. Deep down, we are ready for positive change. 

As we reviewed last week, it is hard to access that part of ourselves, the part that is wise, calm and knowing when we are under stress. To help maintain access we must rise above the BS going on. When we rise above we see clearly and solutions become evident. 

The quickest way to get pulled down is seeing life through the eyes of judgement, both ours and others. Judgments cloud reality and keep us tethered to illusions. Judgments are based on assumptions, many of which are tricks of the ego and are not solution based. 

This week I invite you to go on a judgment fast.

It is time for solutions…
Not more illusions.

A Course in Miracles teaches how destructive judgments their illusions are. Illusions are easily overlooked because they appear and feel very real. The good news is that they disappear once their roots are exposed. 

Judgment fast guidelines:

  1. Notice the symptoms. These include: tension, anger, anxiety.
  2. Validate your current experience (not the judgement) with some good ol’ fashioned compassion. Ex: “Of course I feel this way, I want people to get along.” Or, “Of course I feel angry. The world is suffering and I’m ready for it to stop.” Validation of the experience feeds the wolf of peace within and calms the nervous system allowing us to rise above and move into illusion.
  3. Next, ask yourself, “What am I believing about this situation?” Write down any beliefs. “Which of these assumptions?” Cross off any assumptions. With remaining beliefs ask yourself, “What is a more loving perspective?”  Write down your answers. Rise above! 

Get rid of assumptions
     to feel refreshed.
Get rid of the judgments 
     to see life unmeshed.
Step out of illusions,
      they lead to more stress and delusions. 
Look at life through the eyes of love
      and you shall rise above.
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Three Steps to Emotional Buoyancy in the world of Covid-19~ Step One: Level Up ~

8/17/2020

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“Arg! Things are crazy. I used to feel like life really was wonderful and now I feel anxious and challenged almost daily.” This was me speaking to Tabitha, my dear friend and an amazing coach. Not only had covid hit, but my husband was deployed and we were in a custody battle to protect his son.
 
It was so interesting to me. Being coached integratively, potentiated every area of my life, not just one or two. I reached a point in my life where I finally, after decades, was living at the cause of my life. It felt like a kick in the pants to all of a sudden feel like I was down to living at the effect of so many things.

I had learned that one of the greatest things I cherish about being in the coaching profession is that you are surrounded by the most positive, big-hearted, uplifting, non-judgmental people. I had also learned that doing the work to self-actualize doesn’t mean all life is magically “challenge free”. It does mean that you have the capacity and the self-companionship to rise above it.

So, there I was, admitting to Tabitha I was feeling out of whack. One of the dynamics of stress is that we forget our resources. Under stress, the brain closes down its creative functions to handle the stress. Tabitha was about to remind me of this phenomenon. 

She said, “I know what you are going through feels overwhelming, but let’s double-check that. Let’s look at the Levels of Development.” Bare with me, we are about to take a detour.

In Integrative Coaching, we use a tool called the Levels of Development to help discern 1) the nine milestones in self-mastery, 2) track progress as a new milestone is reached, and 3) see if we are hanging out in the healthy, unhealthy or average ranges. 

Self-development is like riding a bike. Once you know how to ride it, you can’t go back to not knowing. However, we can be self-forgetting at times, like I was. Under stress, it is good to have compassion that we are located underneath the stress. So let’s look at rising above it.

Let’s say you start your journey towards increasing your levels of mastery. These range from unhealthy to healthy.  Un-resourced on the inside to fully resourced on the inside. Disintegrated to fully integrated.

You take the Levels assessment and you are starting off at level 4. 
​

It would look like this:
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Your level of development is where you hang out on an average day. Since covid, or challenging life circumstances, are not your normal average days we can slip down a level. Under stress, we tend to slip down one or two notches. For example, if your current level is four, you may have moments where you slip down to level five or six under stress. ​

It makes sense that people are more reactive and divisive right now. We are collectively under stress. 

The good news is that as you move up the levels and increase your capacity in life, when life gets stressful you only slip down one or two levels instead of falling all the way to the bottom of the unhealthy ranges. So, let’s pick the story back up.

Tabitha and I read the levels of development. Over a span of 10 years, I had developed from level 4 to level 9 and hung out at 9 during normal life circumstances (yes, skeptics are slow learners). What Tabitha and I discovered that under the stress of covid, a deployment and an urgent family matter, I slipped down to level 7. 

Once we expand our inner-resources, they act like flotation devices and float us. What I learned is that I felt stressed, but my actual buoyancy was still pretty high.

I thought about this and realized that if I was going through this amount of stress at any other time in my life I would have just been a puddle of stress on the floor. 

Instead of worrying about what level you are at. Focus on staying buoyant at the level you are at. Step one of being emotionally buoyant during a turbulent time is to Level Up. To level up, I invite you to follow this path:

  1. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge whatever emotion that is coming up and give yourself compassion. “Of course I’m angry, this is a challenge.” “Of course I’m sad, I miss being with my friends in real-time.” Validate what is coming up so you can move on and rise above it.
  2. Move pent up energy. Emotions and stress hormones accumulate in the body, if you are feeling pent up frustrations, do jumping jacks, or a brisk walk. Move the energy out so your body doesn’t store it. This can literally take 2-5 minutes and be done throughout the day. 
  3. Engage a morning practice. Ducks float because they oil slick their feathers. If they didn’t do this they would sink like a brick. What is your oil slick to rise above? What 5-10 morning practice would help align your energy and clear a perspective for the day? For example, I do a 10-12 minute Chi Gong, prayer, and law of attraction exercise. I do this before I check email or engage with anything. The days I don’t do this, well let’s just say are not as fun. 

Keep in mind, the pandemic does carry some opportunities. We can either stay stuck in the stress or rise above it. We can complain, or we can take the time to reflect and review our values and gifts. We can wake up upset, or we can choose to examine what really matters to us at the end of each day and align with that each morning. 

This is an opportunity to level up. 
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The Gift Within

8/10/2020

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Last week my husband and I took the kids for ice-cream. The cashier informed us that the woman before us had paid our bill and was paying it forward. We said, “Wow, thanks can we pay the bill of the folks behind us?” She said “Yes and congrats! You are the 15th awesome people to pay it forward tonight!” Apparently the last 15 people chose to pay it forward after receiving too. 

There is a part in each of us that lights up when our life is lived in contribution, doing right by others and helping. This is the part a masterful coach invites forward. This is the part that leaves us with a smile on our heart at the end of a hard day, where we chose to do the right thing even though it was hard. This is the part where love is generated.

“When you feel a peaceful joy, 

that’s when you are near the truth.” 
Rumi

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Love is like a generator. The more we give it, the more we have it. The Course in Miracles teaches that love is the principle not subject to the laws of the ego. According to the ego what is shared is divided into two parts. Love doubles when shared. Love is an extension of care, support, extension, grace, compassion, inspiration, and so much more. If God had a currency, it would be Love.

Those of us that come to know this truth about ourselves get rest not from sleeping, but awakening. Awakening to what we are truly capable of. Awakening to our truth. Awakening into possibility.

The human heart is an ancient metaphor that has been passed down century after century through many cultures. It represents the Highest aspects of ourselves where love is our guide, our true north. 
Consider some of our more common sayings:
  • Follow your heart!
  • I have such a heart-ache.
  • Put your heart into it!
  • He is my heart-throb.
  • Let’s get to the heart of the matter.
  • This is not for the faint of heart!
  • She is so warm-hearted.
  • My heart bleeds for them.
  • This movie makes my heart sing!
  • My heart is calling me to…
  • I have to search my heart.
  • In my heart of hearts, I feel…


Unlike the ego, the Higher-Self quietly waits to gift us. It bares gifts of wisdom, guidance and compassion. The ego is quick to drown out any inner peace, doubt any wisdom and divide us from what is possible. 

The ego is quick to judge and second guess 
while the heart will guide you out of any mess. 
The ego is quick to jump into the pool of fear, 
while the heart invites you to steer clear.
Our wisdom, inner knowing and intuition all reside in the part of ourselves we call the heart. ​
“Love is the bridge between you and everything.” 
Rumi​
​
Many people can experience anxiety or ruminating fear because they are still using their heads to try to solve problems. Switch into your heart for an inspiring new start. 

Masterful coaches do not keep you in your head. They help you make the journey into trusting your Highest-self. The self that knows, that grows and stows your potential. This is the heart of who you are.
 

There is a part of your journey into your highest potential that can only be successfully navigated through the guidance of your highest wisdom, your heart.

There is part of you that knows.
This is the part of you that grows. 
I invite you to trust it with all of your heart.
I promise it will give you a miraculous new start.
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"Highest-Self" versus the "Ego"

8/3/2020

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Fear gave birth to the ego and is a state of illusion. 
Love bonds, repairs and acts as a fusion.

The Course in Miracles speaks about the opposite of love not being hate, but fear.  It teaches that love and fear are the two foundational emotions a human being feels. Foundational because all other emotional states generate from one of them. 

Hate, greed, and arrogance all have fear at their footing.  While compassion, care, and gratitude are found only were love is rooting.

Fear birthed the ego and is a state of inner-division or fragmentation. We can’t access intuition, or our inner guidance when our ego is in fear and drowning it out. The ego’s goal is to keep us safe because it sees us as completely separate and alone. However, the ego’s version of “safe” is the Highest-Self version of limitation. 

The Highest-Self is the part of us that is connected to all that is and recognizes such. Interestingly enough, quantum physics has shown just how interconnected everything is. If everything is energy and energy isn’t subject to space and time like the material laws of physics, then our rational understanding of cause and effect is rendered limited. This explains a lot.1

The Heart Math Institute conducted research on intuition. They hooked up electrodes to the brain, the heart and the skin to see which one reacted most, or first, to negative images. They were surprised to find that the human heart was the first part of the body to significantly react to a negative image. However, something unexpected happened in this experiment. The heart reacted seconds before the negative image was even randomly chosen by the computer.2

So what is this Highest-Self? One way to grasp it is to see it as the essence of who we are without our fears, defense mechanisms, triggers, and woundings. It is the part of us that is self-aware, able to choose, pure-hearted, and able to tune in to live intuitively. 
In coaching, the Highest-Self is where our wisdom and most brilliant solutions are waiting patiently to be of service. Coaches are adept at helping us access this part of ourselves so that we can live at the cause of life.

"Fear sticks us at the effect of physical laws.
Love places us at the cause.
​
The ego kneels to illusion. 
Your Highest-Self heals all confusion.
The ego is afraid and its ruminations replete. 
Your Highest-Self is whole and complete. "
~Laurel Elders

_____________________________________
1 Quantum ‘spookiness’ explained, by Nature Video:  https://youtu.be/6Dp27XYjHuk 2 Rewired series with Dr. Dispenza, on www.Gaia.com  

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Do you dare?!

7/14/2020

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Almost a decade ago, I quit a job I worked years to get and took a leap of faith. Something much greater was calling me. I guess you could say I was lucky. I had worked so hard for this company I ended up with a stomach ulcer. I woke up one morning realizing it was my health or else. 
 
I was a single mom. I had no savings account. So, I made a pact with the universe, and I asked for help. I agreed to follow my calling, but I asked to be provided for as I went along. I asked that the bills be paid and that we would have food on the table each week. 
 
I had no idea if I would be provided for, or if I could trust in life in a greater way, but I did know that I couldn't go to my grave not having tried. 
 
Guess what happened next? I was slowly provided for more and more each month. As my faith grew, so did the opportunities. I got my footing and created an amazing career path for myself and my family as a coach. I am now in a job that is directly impacting a greater good in people's lives. I fall asleep fulfilled and there is no health toll to pay.
 
Is there anything holding you back? Do you dare listen and follow and trust what it is that is calling you?  
 
Not everyone's calling story needs to be so dramatic. My story wasn't easy. Yet looking back I learned the level of struggle I experienced, directly equated to the level of fear I harbored. Each time I moved into faith, and out of fear, the struggle faded and the more opportunities revealed themselves. I now help my clients make this transition from fear to faith to life fulfillment.
 
Have you noticed that people often have excuses about why they are stuck in a job they hate?  It is common to get stuck in the "what if?" fears, or "it's not in the cards for me" thinking. 
 
Have you noticed that many great adventure stories start out by saying something like, "I took a leap of faith and just went to the place calling me with a dollar in my pocket and a backpack." And it all worked out. 
 
I wish today's message was about butterflies and bunnies. It is not. It is about so much more. It is about what is calling you that you might be ignoring.
 
I have a theory. After 40+ years, I believe if everyone followed their calling, the planet would not be suffering, people would be living fulfilled, and communities would be thriving. We would see less greed, violence and pollution. 
 
But everyone following their calling isn't realistic. Or is it? I also believe that if you feel called, the way will be provided. Yet, I've seen many people retreat in fear because although they will be provided for...  it's not all at once. 
 
You are provided for, but it's with each step you take towards that calling. It requires asking to be shown the way and then trusting the way exists. It does. You have to walk by faith, not by sight. In an age where data is valued above experience, it makes sense this concept feels scary. Trust me, I get it. Yet, there is indeed more to this life than meets the eye.
 
The ways the universe provides are surprisingly simple, yet leads to the keys needed to unlock success. You might meet a new connection, pass a sign that sparks a new idea, see a flyer at the store with networking opportunities, find a book that has answers, come across the resource you need on the internet, see metaphors in nature, or connect with an old friend that has a resource, etc.
 
Your responsibility is to show up, talk about what you are up to, and be open to receiving what is there for you. Life's riches extend way beyond money... way, way, way beyond.



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How to Self-Identify & the Art of Naming

6/30/2020

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Last week we covered self-identity and how interpreting identity can be our biggest prison, or our greatest platform. This week, we are continuing to unpack this further. True too coaching, we are now moving into the fun part, the solution!  Below is a resource locating your greatest platform.  (If you missed last weeks article, you can find it here.)

This weeks resource comes to us from Melanie DewBerry. Melanie speaks about the power of naming. Her process is a powerful way to stand on the solid platform of your life.

I had the pleasure of speaking with Melanie last week and found her to be so deeply insightful, caring and an inspiration to me. Melanie is a true Elder to those being called into their greatness. 

​Enjoy learning with Melanie!  

To learn more about Melanie's work:
https://melaniedewberry.com
Power of Naming: 
​https://melaniedewberry.com/the-power-of-naming/
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    IICT Founder / Senior Faculty

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