Integrative Coach Training Blog: Concepts

"Highest-Self" versus the "Ego"

8/3/2020

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Fear gave birth to the ego and is a state of illusion.
Love bonds, repairs and acts as a fusion.

The Course in Miracles speaks about the opposite of love not being hate, but fear. It teaches that love and fear are the two foundational emotions a human being feels. Foundational because all other emotional states generate from one of them.

Hate, greed, and arrogance all have fear at their footing. While compassion, care, and gratitude are found only were love is rooting.

Fear birthed the ego and is a state of inner-division or fragmentation. We can’t access intuition, or our inner guidance when our ego is in fear and drowning it out. The ego’s goal is to keep us safe because it sees us as completely separate and alone. However, the ego’s version of “safe” is the Highest-Self version of limitation.

The Highest-Self is the part of us that is connected to all that is and recognizes such. Interestingly enough, quantum physics has shown just how interconnected everything is. If everything is energy and energy isn’t subject to space and time like the material laws of physics, then our rational understanding of cause and effect is rendered limited. This explains a lot.1

The Heart Math Institute conducted research on intuition. They hooked up electrodes to the brain, the heart and the skin to see which one reacted most, or first, to negative images. They were surprised to find that the human heart was the first part of the body to significantly react to a negative image. However, something unexpected happened in this experiment. The heart reacted seconds before the negative image was even randomly chosen by the computer.2

So what is this Highest-Self? One way to grasp it is to see it as the essence of who we are without our fears, defense mechanisms, triggers, and woundings. It is the part of us that is self-aware, able to choose, pure-hearted, and able to tune in to live intuitively.
In coaching, the Highest-Self is where our wisdom and most brilliant solutions are waiting patiently to be of service. Coaches are adept at helping us access this part of ourselves so that we can live at the cause of life.

"Fear sticks us at the effect of physical laws.
Love places us at the cause.

The ego kneels to illusion.
Your Highest-Self heals all confusion.
The ego is afraid and its ruminations replete.
Your Highest-Self is whole and complete. "
~Laurel Elders

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1 Quantum ‘spookiness’ explained, by Nature Video: https://youtu.be/6Dp27XYjHuk 2 Rewired series with Dr. Dispenza, on www.Gaia.com

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Do you dare?!

7/14/2020

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Almost a decade ago, I quit a job I worked years to get and took a leap of faith. Something much greater was calling me. I guess you could say I was lucky. I had worked so hard for this company I ended up with a stomach ulcer. I woke up one morning realizing it was my health or else.

I was a single mom. I had no savings account. So, I made a pact with the universe, and I asked for help. I agreed to follow my calling, but I asked to be provided for as I went along. I asked that the bills be paid and that we would have food on the table each week.

I had no idea if I would be provided for, or if I could trust in life in a greater way, but I did know that I couldn't go to my grave not having tried.

Guess what happened next? I was slowly provided for more and more each month. As my faith grew, so did the opportunities. I got my footing and created an amazing career path for myself and my family as a coach. I am now in a job that is directly impacting a greater good in people's lives. I fall asleep fulfilled and there is no health toll to pay.

Is there anything holding you back? Do you dare listen and follow and trust what it is that is calling you?

Not everyone's calling story needs to be so dramatic. My story wasn't easy. Yet looking back I learned the level of struggle I experienced, directly equated to the level of fear I harbored. Each time I moved into faith, and out of fear, the struggle faded and the more opportunities revealed themselves. I now help my clients make this transition from fear to faith to life fulfillment.

Have you noticed that people often have excuses about why they are stuck in a job they hate? It is common to get stuck in the "what if?" fears, or "it's not in the cards for me" thinking.

Have you noticed that many great adventure stories start out by saying something like, "I took a leap of faith and just went to the place calling me with a dollar in my pocket and a backpack." And it all worked out.

I wish today's message was about butterflies and bunnies. It is not. It is about so much more. It is about what is calling you that you might be ignoring.

I have a theory. After 40+ years, I believe if everyone followed their calling, the planet would not be suffering, people would be living fulfilled, and communities would be thriving. We would see less greed, violence and pollution.

But everyone following their calling isn't realistic. Or is it? I also believe that if you feel called, the way will be provided. Yet, I've seen many people retreat in fear because although they will be provided for... it's not all at once.

You are provided for, but it's with each step you take towards that calling. It requires asking to be shown the way and then trusting the way exists. It does. You have to walk by faith, not by sight. In an age where data is valued above experience, it makes sense this concept feels scary. Trust me, I get it. Yet, there is indeed more to this life than meets the eye.

The ways the universe provides are surprisingly simple, yet leads to the keys needed to unlock success. You might meet a new connection, pass a sign that sparks a new idea, see a flyer at the store with networking opportunities, find a book that has answers, come across the resource you need on the internet, see metaphors in nature, or connect with an old friend that has a resource, etc.

Your responsibility is to show up, talk about what you are up to, and be open to receiving what is there for you. Life's riches extend way beyond money... way, way, way beyond.

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How to Self-Identify & the Art of Naming

6/30/2020

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Last week we covered self-identity and how interpreting identity can be our biggest prison, or our greatest platform. This week, we are continuing to unpack this further. True too coaching, we are now moving into the fun part, the solution! Below is a resource locating your greatest platform. (If you missed last weeks article, you can find it here.)

This weeks resource comes to us from Melanie DewBerry. Melanie speaks about the power of naming. Her process is a powerful way to stand on the solid platform of your life.

I had the pleasure of speaking with Melanie last week and found her to be so deeply insightful, caring and an inspiration to me. Melanie is a true Elder to those being called into their greatness.

Enjoy learning with Melanie!

To learn more about Melanie's work:
https://melaniedewberry.com
Power of Naming:
https://melaniedewberry.com/the-power-of-naming/

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Self-Identity: Prison or Platform?

6/26/2020

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There I was, up to my waist in murky waters. My husband, myself, and our dog Moose headed to the lake one hot weekend afternoon. We kayaked, dog in tow, to a small island and parked the kayaks there.

My husband and Moose swam across to the other side of the lake. The water was cool and inviting… but I had never swam across a lake before.

I looked at them longingly, wishing to make it to the other side and then the fears crept in. 'I might get bit by a fish. I can’t see the bottom... or really anything at all.' Gulp. 'What if lock ness is real?' 'What if I get tangled in kelp and drown?'

“C’mon!” My husband yelled. “Whatcha waiting for? It's easy!” He laughed. I made a pouty face and every attempt to just jump in and swim across was met with another wall of fear and another excuse.
He kept taunting me. “Some country girl you are! A true country girl would swim across a lake!” He laughed again. We have an ongoing inside joke about me thinking I’m so outdoorsy just because I spent my formative years being raised in a small cabin in the country. Some of my best friends were butterflies and creek snails. Yep, country living.

As soon as I heard those words come from his mouth this energy came up over me and I thought, “Oh hell no! Nobody will accuse me of being a wimpy country girl!" I was proud of having country roots, jumping in mounds of messy fall leaves, picking apples, and getting stuck climbing cherry trees.

After hearing those words, all of a sudden I was swimming full force across the lake and made it breathless to the other side!

Our identity, how we identify is a powerful force. It moves us, shapes us, and forges the canyons of our life, beliefs, and actions.

Some identities come to us circumstantially. Others we choose.

The flip side to my proud “country girl” identity is a long-held limiting belief. I grew up believing I had no clue of social norms or cues because I spent most of my time in the mountains. This really inhibited me as we moved to Tucson. To me, Tucson might as well have been LA. I had to make all new friends, which felt like torture.

My identity and the belief that sprouted from it, inhibited me as I stepped out as a mom and later as a coach. I had to face this story, realize it is not my full truth, and throw the unserving parts to the wind.
Part of life is about finding our true selves. The self without the false projections, defense mechanisms, or the accumulation of limiting stories we incidentally adopt throughout the years.

The other part of our life takes flight when we examine what our truth is, learn to have faith in ourselves so that we can live in alignment with pride and confidence. From such awareness, we can then choose to create who are to become and how we wish to show up in the world.

Being coached integratively was my first introduction to the inner journey back home to my true self. Integrative coaching is a journey of releasing self-deception, firing self-rejection and leaning into the highest aspects of Self.

What I’ve taken away from the journey with my identity, roots and beliefs is this:

How we identify is either a prison that binds our potential, or the very platform to confidently launch from.

I invite you to take a life inventory:

What aspects of myself do I most identify with?
What beliefs have I formed from these identities?
How attached am I to my identities? Who I am without them?
Do these beliefs serve my highest aim, or limit me?
What higher aspects of are calling me to step into?
Are there any parts of my identity I need to fully embrace or step away from?

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Lead Boldly

6/22/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week:

This week we are sharing a video by IICT instructor, Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen on
How to Be a Bold Leader in Times of Crises

"A BOLD leader is energetic, risk-taking, and called to action to influence change and inspire action in others. This means you! We each affect and inspire others energetically, verbally, and with our simple presence with our reactions and our responses.

We are called right now to RESPOND in crisis intentionally and with love and compassion and service. So, if you are leading yourself and others through crisis and unsure how to navigate its complexity, please stick around. YOU are NOT alone!

And if this video is useful, please share it with everyone, Because the more we are all leading with positive energy, taking compassionate risks, and responding with coordinated actions, the more influence and impact we will have to make lasting positive changes. Right NOW!"

Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen

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Do You Need A Coach Right Now?

6/15/2020

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Today's video comes to us from Dr. Kristen Truman-Allen. She explores why you need a coach right now.

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Coaching Resource of the Week:Innovations in Leadership Coaching

6/8/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week:

Innovations in Leadership Coaching: Research and Practice
https://www.amazon.com/Innovations-Leadership-Coaching-Research-Monograph/dp/0986393002

Train with us and join a Movement that cares about leaving the world a better place than you found it.

We are accepting Full Coaching Certification Applications for the Fall at our Early- Early Bird pricing now through June 14th!

Apply for your Early-Early Birch Coaching Rate here:
https://www.integrativecoachtraining.com/training.html

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Discover Laurel's Calling to Found the Institute of Integrative Coach Training

6/1/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week:

Today we’d like to introduce you to Laurel Elders, Founder of The Institute for Integrative Coach Training in Tucson. Learn how Laurel got started with the Institute and how the journey has been so far.

http://voyagephoenix.com/interview/meet-laurel-elders-institute-integrative-coach-training-tucson-az/

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These Are Not Unprecedented Times

5/25/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week:
These Are Not Unprecedented Times

Simon Sinek recently shared some inspiring thoughts in his last company Huddle.
Hope it inspires you as much as it did us.

https://www.facebook.com/166356006498/posts/10158247576786499/?vh=e&d=n

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Bring Your WHY to Life

5/18/2020

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Did you know you have only one WHY? We have the greatest opportunity in our lives to make choices that bring out our WHY in life.
Click below to watch Simon Sinek talk about how your WHY + How + What =
Who you are
https://www.facebook.com/166356006498/posts/10158357595576499/?vh=e

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Does Your Team Have an Accountability Problem?

5/11/2020

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Does Your Team Have an Accountability Problem?
Accountability, unclear roles and responsibilities, limited resources, and unrealistic goals are the real culprit when someone says there is a "lack of accountability."

Learn how to create a safe environment for your team, clarify issues and commit to setting your team up for success here:
https://hbr.org/2020/02/does-your-team-have-an-accountability-problem

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Time for Coaching or Psychotherapy? How to Know...

5/4/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week:
Time for Coaching or Psychotherapy? How to Know...

In this week's resource, you'll learn what coaching is not, what coaching is, when psychotherapy is more appropriate than coaching, and when it is the right time for coaching.

Read more here: https://www.evolvejourney.com/time-for-coaching-or-psychotherapy-how-to-know/

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Social Media Trolls

4/13/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week

Do you know what social media trolls are and how they can affect your coaching business? Learn about trolls and how you can protect your business, your clients and the vulnerable.

Read more here: https://www.heartofbusiness.com/2020/social-media-trolls/

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Outsourcing Your Coaching Business Tasks

4/6/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week:

Outsourcing Your Coaching Business Tasks

Kate Ashton has been our Virtual Assistant for over the past year and is a phenomenal resource for your coaching business! Kate is a Dubsado Client Relationship Management Automation Strategist who helps coaches and creatives automate the back ends of businesses so that her clients have the capacity to take on many more clients and make more money!

Kate has a limited number of spots open to help you setup your CRM automation at this time.

Learn more about how Kate can help your business grow here:
https://ashtonvirtual.com/
You can reach out to Kate here:

https://ashtonvirtual.com/
kate@ashtonvirtual.com

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EQ Assessments

3/30/2020

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This week is a follow up from last week's resource. Last week we linked to 13 activities that increase emotional intelligence.

This week I've shared a link to 17 Emotional Intelligence Tests and Assessments.

Enjoy!

Coaching Resource of the Week:
17 Emotional Intelligence Tests and Assessments

As the name suggests, emotional intelligence tests and assessments are attempts to build, develop, and maintain one’s emotional intelligence, often called EI or EQ for Emotional Quotient.

Read More Here

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Coach Training Amidst Coronavirus

3/29/2020

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When Coronavirus hit, coaches were already set up to continue to serve as the need for support expanded.

With the changes the world is experiencing with Coronavirus, it seems like becoming a certified coach is the way to go! Coaches work virtually with individuals, groups and/or teams making career agility easier and accessible.

Let's face it. My team and I here at the Institute for Integrative Coach Training love coaching. Like a lot! We know coaches are a part of the solution. Coaches are shaping the future for the better. We know the world is craving the level of positive reinforcement that coaching offers!

So you would think we would be cheering on anyone who wanted to go for training. Unfortunately, we are dealing with times that became quickly precarious.

Therefore, let's be completely honest. No, entering the coaching field when there is a pandemic is only great for some people and let's look at why.

If you are considering training right now, you want to feel confident that you will expand upon your professional agility and be able to expand your services virtually!

If you are completely new to running a business online, or contracting private clients then right now may not be the best time to dive in. This is because learning new skills is one thing, but learning new skills and how to launch a business online is an entire learning curve in and of itself. If you are in this category, we suggest waiting to start training when you are in a space to learn both coaching skills and online marketing skills. Expect a two-year process.

If however, you are:
·      Adding coaching skills to expand a current client base
·      Becoming a coach to expand your virtual reach, agility, and acuity
·      Already familiar with marketing online
·      Business savvy, or, have adequate access to online marketing support

Then, yes, hands down right now is an excellent time to go back to school and gain adaptability to a market that is moving online!

For example, our classes have all been moved to virtual as a result of the pandemic. (If you are already working from home, virtual classes are a great way to enhance your services or up-level your career!)
During a pandemic, people don't stop needing support so our coaching services and skillsets are very valuable. Coaching virtually opens up a lot of doors to access clients across the globe.

If you have been considering becoming a coach for some time now and right now you would benefit from expanding your reach, we would love to be on your success team. Our students deeply value being a part of the solution to a world that needs them!

Classes are already rolling and new classes start May 5th!

Learn more, or sign up: www.integrativecoachtraining.com/training.html

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EQ Activities

3/23/2020

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As the name suggests, emotional intelligence activities and exercises are attempts to build, develop, and maintain one’s emotional intelligence, often called EI or EQ for Emotional Quotient.

I came across these excellent EQ resources to use with clients.

Coaching Resource of the Week:
13 Emotional Intelligence Activities & Exercises
Read More Here

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Toxic Boss Anyone?

3/16/2020

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Have you ever worked somewhere where you loved what you did, but you couldn't stand your boss?

I have! Twice as a matter of fact.

My first experience with having a less than ideal boss was working for a cafe in my 20's. I loved the amazing food they sold, the interesting people who showed up each day and my fun loving my co-workers. I loved the regulars that came in and learning all about their lives. I loved meeting people who would visit us from all over the world.

Yet, the owners kept insisting on using their ownership power to make decisions that flew in the face of success of their own company and against the success of the employees they hired.

For example:

One day we were just about to open. One of the owners accidentally left the door unlocked. A customer that didn't notice the "open hours sign" in the window walked right in and was ready to order.

The owner briskly, rudely and firmly said, "You need to leave. We do not open until 9 am!" The woman was flabbergasted. She made a rude remark back and needless to say didn't return when we opened.

Another time the owners decided to use all paper to-go cups for the full espresso menu instead of their cozy ceramic cups. Now, keep in mind, this cafe was a health food cafe, so the majority of regulars cared about their health but also about the environment. Of course we received ample complaints.

We also had to field complaints about how nice it was to sit and read with a ceramic mug to keep your hands warm. We received ample requests to bring back the cozy ceramic mugs.

Despite the complaints and loss of customers, the owners insisted that ceramic mugs took away the heat and paper cups kept the heat longer. Head scratching! I thought they would say something more business-like, like we save money by not having to pay someone to wash more dishes. Paper cups keep the heat longer? I'm sorry, but I don't buy it.

Then another day the owners decided that we would become a restaurant instead of a cafe... like tomorrow. None of us had any training, but we showed up and were expected to be a restaurant and run fully streamlined as a restaurant. The owners also didn't show up that day, so those of us scheduled had to face the fire of irate customers and confused employees. The few tips we received were pity tips.

These are just a few examples of very poor leadership skills. But the interesting fact is that despite the owner's craziness, I stayed putting up with them for almost 4 years because I loved what I did.

Today's resource talks about this very thing. If you have a client, a friend or if you feel stuck, I hope this helps inspire.

Enjoy!

Coaching Perspective of the Week:
How to Deal with a Toxic Boss
with Simon Sinek

People don't quit jobs, they quit bosses.
But what can you do if you have a toxic boss and you want to stay at your job?

https://fbwat.ch/1t4Cy5EkihSBK4Q4

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Virtual Leadership

3/9/2020

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I came across this really fun and inspiring video on developing virtual leadership presence!

If you are doing videos or playing with your online presence, I hope you enjoy the excellent advice of Natalie Sayer.

Coaching Resource of the Week:
Your Virtual Video Presence
by Natalie Sayer
Given how much business is transacted virtually, how are you minding your virtual leadership presence? This video provides three areas to monitor so you will keep the focus on your message.

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Skillfull Awareness

3/2/2020

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A few years back I had the honor of meeting Dr. Mark Pirtle and his amazing wife Lynda. They are pioneering a self-awareness approach so that people may have more positive life experiences, get in touch with their personal power and experience stress-relief through the human capacity for self-awareness.

Professional integrative coaches look for three milestones in our client's process. Each milestone leads to the next. Just like each transformation leads to the next.

The first milestone is self-awareness.

As a coach, when we actively observe our clients engaging in their own self-awareness, then we know they have made it to milestone number one.

Some examples: The client says, "Oh my gosh, I thought I was angry but I now see underneath the surface is deep sorrow." Or, "Wow, when I said I was 100% committed to my success I felt a twinge in my stomach. Interesting!" These are indicative milestone #1 has been reached.

Self-awareness is milestone #1 because until you reach self-awareness, you can't reach the other two milestones. Yikes!

However, once self-awareness is intact then milestone #2 begins to naturally surface.

The second milestone is self-generation. Self-generation is occurring when we use our self-awareness to formulate new ideas and new ways of thinking.

Ex: I ask my client, "When you notice that is really going on for you, what do you want to do?" Then the client generates ideas that are aligned with their truth. This is a very important milestone because it means they have ownership. When ownership is fostered, follow-through is increased through intrinsic importance.

Once we see a client actively and consistently self-generating, then milestone #3 becomes possible!

The last milestone is the ability to sustain success long-term.

It takes a journey of self-awareness, into self-generation that produces the capacity to sustain success in the long run.

It is like buoyancy. Once you have the first two milestones in place, this gives you enough buoyancy to get you through tough times and sustain.

This week's resource is about milestone #1, self-awareness. But not just any kind of self-awareness... skillful awareness.

I hope you resonate with Mark's teachings. He is another exemplary example of how many rich resources we have available to us and our clients.

Coaching Resource of the Week

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Hiring

2/24/2020

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Coaching Resource of the Week:
Hiring a Coach

Coaching was literally the best investment I have ever made in my life. Being trained in coaching was the next best investment. Being coached expanded my capacity for the better. Being a coach changed my heart, career potential and life forever.

Tracking my own progress went something like this:

Instead of triggers side swiping me into fear, I became aware of them and they lost control over me.
I gained self-discipline. In the past I rebelled against self-discipline (I'll eat that piece of cake if I wanted too). Coaching connected me to my core values and I began to naturally embrace my wellbeing and health.
I responded to my children in meaningful ways. Instead of snapping at them for not doing their chores on time, we could sit down and figure out solutions that worked for everyone.
My confidence stabilized and inner peace became my new norm.

Coaching took the weight of life off my chest. My capacity for creating and sustaining successful outcomes and developing long-terming fulfilling relationships expanded. As these changes took root in my life, I began to inspire others to do the same for their life.

I now get to go to bed at night proud of what I do and proud of my profession.

I see clients gaining confidence, growing professionally, getting promotions, becoming heart-felt communicators that inspire people. I feel humbled and honored to be a part of their life's unfolding.

The amazing thing about coaching to me is that it is the process itself that yields results.

What it takes to succeed is surprisingly simple!

If we show up willing to stretch and grow then we will get results we seek. If we show up resistant, then coaching will not work well. Simple.

Coaching is perfect when we are ready and willing to grow.

This is the other reason free sessions, or free consultations, offered by coaches are so powerful. They help us gauge if coaching is a good fit for where we are at in life.

Today I invite you to look at all the amazing ways coaches are showing up in the world to help people with everyday issues and move into their excellence.

If you are interested in hiring your own coach, here is a directory of professional coaches to get you started: https://www.integrativecoachtraining.com/directory.html

"Coaching is the number two growth industry right behind IT (Information Technology) jobs, and it's the number one home-based profession."
– Starts Up Magazine

“I absolutely believe that people, unless coached, never reach their maximum capabilities".
- Bob Nardelli , CEO of Home Depot

"Executives and HR managers know coaching is the most potent tool for inducing lasting personal change."
- Ivy Business Journal

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40% Increase in Productivity

2/17/2020

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I once had a boss that gave everyone unlimited time off.

What?! Yep! Unlimited.

The caveat? We had to get our work done, and maintain excellence.

To be honest, at first I was skeptical. It turned out to be wonderful!

Not only did I feel very loyal to the organization, I ensured my work was completed in advance and was always above par. It was an excellent morale boost and helped everyone feel trusted and honored.

Furthermore, I found that people didn’t take it for granted, as some employees feared when it was first introduced. People loved being honored and trusted and worked harder to ensure they did a great job in exchange for the time off. Brilliant!

People also didn't over abuse it. We were all aware that the policy could be changed if it was causing problems. So, we only took time off when it mattered and deeply appreciated the flexibility.

This concept of more time off leading to rejuvenation got its roots in Japan and Europe. Europe values quality of life over quantity of actions.

Perhaps the US could learn from this? While we overwork, overdo and burn out, other people are casually enjoying life and success in a more relaxed way. Interesting.

I say it is time we focus on quality of life! #worksmarter

Enjoy today's article on balancing time!

Coaching Resource of the Week:

Microsoft experimented with a 4-day workweek, and productivity jumped by 40%!

An experiment that involved reducing the workweek by one day led to a 40% boost in productivity in a Microsoft subsidiary in Japan. Read all about it here:

https://amp-businessinsider-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/amp.businessinsider.com/microsoft-4-day-work-week-boosts-productivity-2019-11

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Mastery Amidst the Messy

2/10/2020

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Today we are going to dive into life's messy side. Fun stuff!

A client of mine showed up to her session scratching her head at a conundrum.
When she first came to see me, she felt unsure of herself, unclear about her goals and paralyzed by fear.

Over a period of months, coaching helped her completely shift her life experience.

To start, she became self-aware. She began to see her limiting beliefs, previous blind-spots and catch her re-activities.

This new self-awareness led to clarity. Clarity opened her eyes to her next steps, her ideal goals and dispelling the fears.

In essence, she became more masterful. Wonderful, the evidence was clear! Coaching was moving mountains in her life.

Here is the kicker. She came to this session and said, "I've made so much progress, but why is life still messy?" She had a boss that was giving her a hard time. Her husband was facing a family issue. Her dog had to go to the vet.

Over the years, I've come to notice an underlying assumption. Somewhere along life's path, the message was embedded "If I strive to be my best, life will then be perfect."

I don't believe anyone consciously believes this, but over the years of coaching and having experienced this personally as well, this seems to be a common underlying theme people face.

I notice it surface when they reach the point in their growth where they are living empowered each and every day and yet... life is still messy, so they scratch their heads.

The truth is that life is not about mastery. Life is about being masterful. This is also called responsiveness.

Last year, I woke up one day and thought, "Wow. My life feels perfect. I feel at peace, I have an amazing relationship, my kids are safe and happy, my work is meaningful and I have my health."

And then I walked outside to a huge bee swarm that had moved in overnight. And then later that month I found out one of my mentors had stage four cancer. And then the dryer broke down.

And... I had the inner resources to respond to each of these. Coaching doesn't make life perfect, but it makes life doable and even profound.

Amidst all of the messy, I had a clear heart. I was able to see the interesting beauty in the bees that chose our home as they migrated.

I was able to create space to prioritize and care-take my mentor each day until her passing. I shared so many meaningful moments because my heart was clear about being of service.

I was able to bounce back with laughter at the dryer and just shake my head before jerry-rigging it to work again.

Through it all, I kept my heart.

Before coaching, I would have been more like a puddle on the floor feeling overwhelmed by life's messiness.

It is a very different way to experience life's messiness... empowered to respond to stress, living aligned with one's core values and embracing what matters.

Today's lesson is about life's messiness being ironically "good" news and "bad" news.

Can you relate?

Coaching skills help us stay neutral so we can respond in the moment. We help our clients stay neutral, see a bigger picture and respond to their life circumstances in empowered ways.

When I help my clients move from fighting with their spouse to listening with empathy and they begin thriving as a couple, my heart lights up.
When I help my clients get a promotion because they are now confidently self-advocating, I go to sleep at night feeling proud.
When I see my clients lose weight naturally because they are finally making their health a priority, I feel impressed that I could be a meaningful part of their journey.

Coaches find fulfillment in seeing people's lives and work transform for the better. Coaches have the heart to help empower themselves and others.

People come to coaching because they desire deep down to be apart of the solution in life.

So, what brings you to coaching? Are you interested in sharpening your skills, increasing your outreach and growing, or are you interested in being a full-time coach?

Whatever it is that is calling you, I support you in following it.

Ready to leave a profound impact on people's lives?

Join the world of coaching!
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Classes begin March 4th. Submit your application by February 15th!

Feel free to call, or text, to schedule a time to learn more about the integrative difference.

Warm regards,
Tabitha
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Rumi & Leadership

2/3/2020

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I was discussing leadership with my husband. He made the observation that there are so many personality types that it can make leadership a challenge.

I agree. We are born into the world with personality tendencies (nature). Then we have our parents that contribute our formative experiences (nature). Then we add another layer of life experiences and our first woundings that shape us and form defense mechanisms.

As humans, we have many layers.

Yet, I learned from one of my mentors and coaches, Karen Cappello, that we can listen to someone beneath the layers and through their values. Wow!

This level of listening is powerful and takes us beyond words. It is what sets masterful coaches apart from normal coaches.

When I have someone come to me with a complaint about something being unfair, I can hear that underneath the surface, they value fairness and perhaps integrity.

When someone comes to me venting about a fight they had with a family member, I can hear that that underneath the surface, they value respect and perhaps understanding.

The truth is that yes, there are so many personalities and a variety of forms a personality can take. Yet, there is a deeper truth about human beings that exists beneath the layers of nature and nature. This is the human heart and we all have one.

The heart is that internal compass, it is where our truth is felt and the metaphorical home to our human spirit.

When we speak to someone at a heart level, and have a heart-to-heart, the personality defenses soften and people open up.

This is true of all humans, regardless of personality type. In masterful leadership, just like masterful coaching, when you speak to the heart, and from the heart, you inspire people to open up and blossom.

The poet Rumi is one of my favorites for inspirational quotes that take people from hardship to their heart.

I've posted some of Rumi's best quotes for you to ponder, or use with your clients.

Enjoy!

Coaching Resource of the Week:

35 Quotes From The Great Persian Poet Rumi That Will Inspire You To The Core

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Called to Coach!

1/27/2020

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I am sure you have noticed.

Now more than ever, people are feeling more stuck, burnt out, frustrated and disconnected. Many times people are facing both home and work stress.

I am sure you have also noticed that people are starting to feel more and more doubtful that true change is possible.

Each and every one of us are facing some heavyweight issues in modern society. Whether we want to talk about it, or not, this is the first time that we are now globally facing large-scale impact together.

We also live in a time when we are bombarded with over-complicated tax forms, global warming debates (“It is real!” “It is fake!” “It is real!” “It is fake!”), politics meant to protect the greater good losing clout to the richest lobbyist, corporations not batting an eyelash for environmental impact or people's well-being, and eating meals feeling unsure if the genetically modified foods we now consume are contributing to the skyrocketing food allergies or cancer. Not small stuff.

Head scratching. Heart sinking. Our nervous systems are on overload.

Yet, here is the thing… most people turn to bad habits to cope with these stressors. We turn to media addiction, to food, to overworking, to worrying, to fighting with loved ones or avoiding and checking out altogether.
Krishna Murti once said something that powerfully relates to the modern-day human experience. He said, “It is not a sign of health to be well adjusted to a sick society.”

In essence, there is a better way!

Of course, we are feeling burnt out, disconnected and tired. Yay, we invented virtual reality, but what about using our human intelligence to solve actual problems? What a concept.

Of course, we are frustrated at work. Aren’t you tired of seeing the ways a manager could improve and then scratch your head when they do the opposite?

Of course, we crave more! We know deep down that what is missing is living a life more integrated, healthy and attuned to a life purpose. Fulfillment comes from being a part of something bigger than us, being a part of a solution and leaving the world better than how we found it.

Furthermore, linear thinking creates linear solutions. Linear solutions, produce more linear outcomes. The time for linear problem solving has come to an end. It is no longer working. We are living in a time when all aspects of the whole need to be considered in order to produce truly successful solutions.

This is equally true globally as well as in our personal day-to-day lives. Whether you feel called to help global initiatives transform, or to help empower single-mothers to gain financial footing after a hardship, everyone benefits from an integrative framework.

We call this type of problem-solving, Integrative Intelligence™.

You can make a huge difference in people's lives when you help them integrate their potentials.

You are also not alone in feeling the weight of a world that is in need of new approaches and feeling called to be apart of the solution. We do too.

Your valuable insights on what is missing, and what isn’t working, can be turned into a catalyst for a positive future and leave other’s grateful to have crossed paths with you.

You can use your life to turn around and help people turn their lives and work into happy and meaningful endeavors.

You can put your own experiences, education, and wisdom towards empowering others.

Consider this… it doesn’t matter how long a room has been dark, all it takes is one light to illuminate it.

You can be that light for others. We show you how.

If you feel called to play a bigger role as a positive solution in people’s lives, then we invite you to learn more about the profound ways that coaching is positively shaping people’s lives and work.

>> "Yes, I'm called to coach, tell me more!" <<

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By Laurel Elders, PCC

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Articles on Coaching​- Integrative Intelligence -

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