Today we are going to dive into life's messy side. Fun stuff!
A client of mine showed up to her session scratching her head at a conundrum.
When she first came to see me, she felt unsure of herself, unclear about her goals and paralyzed by fear.
Over a period of months, coaching helped her completely shift her life experience.
To start, she became self-aware. She began to see her limiting beliefs, previous blind-spots and catch her re-activities.
This new self-awareness led to clarity. Clarity opened her eyes to her next steps, her ideal goals and dispelling the fears.
In essence, she became more masterful. Wonderful, the evidence was clear! Coaching was moving mountains in her life.
Here is the kicker. She came to this session and said, "I've made so much progress, but why is life still messy?" She had a boss that was giving her a hard time. Her husband was facing a family issue. Her dog had to go to the vet.
Over the years, I've come to notice an underlying assumption. Somewhere along life's path, the message was embedded "If I strive to be my best, life will then be perfect."
I don't believe anyone consciously believes this, but over the years of coaching and having experienced this personally as well, this seems to be a common underlying theme people face.
I notice it surface when they reach the point in their growth where they are living empowered each and every day and yet... life is still messy, so they scratch their heads.
The truth is that life is not about mastery. Life is about being masterful. This is also called responsiveness.
Last year, I woke up one day and thought, "Wow. My life feels perfect. I feel at peace, I have an amazing relationship, my kids are safe and happy, my work is meaningful and I have my health."
And then I walked outside to a huge bee swarm that had moved in overnight. And then later that month I found out one of my mentors had stage four cancer. And then the dryer broke down.
And... I had the inner resources to respond to each of these. Coaching doesn't make life perfect, but it makes life doable and even profound.
Amidst all of the messy, I had a clear heart. I was able to see the interesting beauty in the bees that chose our home as they migrated.
I was able to create space to prioritize and care-take my mentor each day until her passing. I shared so many meaningful moments because my heart was clear about being of service.
I was able to bounce back with laughter at the dryer and just shake my head before jerry-rigging it to work again.
Through it all, I kept my heart.
Before coaching, I would have been more like a puddle on the floor feeling overwhelmed by life's messiness.
It is a very different way to experience life's messiness... empowered to respond to stress, living aligned with one's core values and embracing what matters.
Today's lesson is about life's messiness being ironically "good" news and "bad" news.
Can you relate?
Coaching skills help us stay neutral so we can respond in the moment. We help our clients stay neutral, see a bigger picture and respond to their life circumstances in empowered ways.
People come to coaching because they desire deep down to be apart of the solution in life.
So, what brings you to coaching? Are you interested in sharpening your skills, increasing your outreach and growing, or are you interested in being a full-time coach?
Whatever it is that is calling you, I support you in following it.
Ready to leave a profound impact on people's lives?
Join the world of coaching!
We are now accepting applications for our Spring Coaching Certification Program!
Apply here: https://www.integrativecoachtraining.com/training.html
Classes begin March 4th. Submit your application by February 15th!
Feel free to call, or text, to schedule a time to learn more about the integrative difference.
By Laurel Elders, PCC
IICT Founder / Senior Faculty