Happy Monday! Hope you had a restorative weekend.
Did you know that a goldfish will grow to match the size of its surroundings? Fascinating. If a goldfish is kept in a small bowl, it stays small. If it is transferred into a larger tank, it grows larger. I find this to be a powerful metaphor for coaching. As we help our clients see farther, think broader, their capacity expands. The next few weeks I'll be doing a review of some of the key capacity expanding concepts outlined in The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks. In Hendricks's book he brings up the concept of an internal thermostat. He outlines that there is an internal setting we all have that kicks in when we've reached the "upper limit" of being comfortable with success. He says we all have a setting and most of us are unconscious about what our setting is. The first thing to look at is your core fear and success. Not failure. Success. He outlines the most common and calls these our "barriers".
Next, identify what behaviors indicate the fear has taken the driver's wheel. For example, do you worry, punish yourself or those around you, get sick or hurt, or deflect? Last, when we catch the behavior we can flip the script. So, when I catch myself worrying I realize that my fear of being flawed has taken over and I can remind myself... "Welp. We are all flawed. And that is beautiful." Your turn! Which fear do you most harbor around success from the list above? What is the truth on the other side of the fear? Is success really a burden? No, you can handle it. Will you really leave behind people you love? Not if you don't want to and by stepping into your potential you invite others to step into theirs. Etc. What behavior patterns do you succumb to when the fear of success shows up? What script will you choose when these show up? What does your life feel like without the fear? |
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