There is much confusion around coaching! Yet, the days of being asked "what sport?" are coming to an end! In this video I reveal the distinctions between the top three modalities that cause the most confusion.
Coaching has branched out beyond philosophy, mentoring and advising and is its own distinct discipline with professional ethics and standards clearly defined.
Unfortunately, some people use the title "coach" as a blanket term for "I help people with... therefore I'm a coach" without knowing about the distinct and professional boundaries, processes and modalities that professional coaches are trained in and adhere to.
We invite you to be in the know!
Did you know that giving someone advice lights up only the logical side of the brain?
Did you know that when people are inspired from within and come up with their own answers this lights up the emotional side of the brain?
Guess where follow-through and positive action comes from? The emotional side.
The emotional side of the brain has gotten a bad rap for being subjective or unreliable. YET, this is also the birthplace of inspiration, vision and positive action! When harnessed, emotional inspiration is a powerful tool!
This is the power of coaching. We ask our clients to dig deeper within themselves to find their answers. As they do so, they become: Self-aware, Self-generating and Sustain long-term success.
"Give a man a fish, he is fed for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he is fed for a lifetime."
Today's resource is an article from the International Coach Federation on just how powerful coaching is because it engages the whole brain.
To help the whole person, engage the whole brain!
In Service to your Life Purpose,
This week I have a fun article for you! This 99 year old grandmother went rock climbing for the first time.... WOW!
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www.integrativecoachtraining.com/Care to learn an integrative, illuminating
and inspiring education in human potential?
We've got you covered.
Learn more about the IICT 9 month Certification in Integrative Coaching!
Registration is Open!
Orientation: January 22nd
Classes start: Feb. 5th
>>Check out graduate testimonies here<<
>>>Review this months Program Here<<<
Interview with Renee Siegel:
7 CCEs, Live Streaming, Saturday January 19th
>>>Register Here <<<
What I've learned since is that there is a chapter in the book on motivation that they left out.
Intrinsically motivated goals means something within me is fueling me to energize me to attain my goal. Ex: If I lose 4 pounds this week, I will feel better and feel satisfied.
Extrinsically motivated goals, on the other hand, mean I am motivated by something outside of myself to energize my goal so that I can attain it. Ex: If I lose 4 pounds this week, then I will buy myself a new workout shirt.
Yet, Terry Warner introduces a new layer of depth to human motivate, and I believe, it is a game changer.
"For the only change that matters is a change of heart.
Every other change alters us cosmetically but not fundamentally;
modifies how we appear, what we do or what we say, but not who we are."
- C. Terry Warner author of Bonds that Make Us Free
So, let's set aside relating to objects as rewards. Objects don't love us back. This is most likely why they were proven to provide short term motivation only.
Next, look at your "why". What would the goal bring to your heart? Good. Now, one more layer.
What happens when your inner "why," your heart, adds other people into your goals? You now have a purpose and meaning bigger than yourself.
Answer this. Take one goal you have for yourself right now. What positive impact does attaining your goal have on others? In what ways does the positive impact matter?
Ex: If I lose 4 pounds this week, I will feel better and add to my health. Then I would be able to play with my grandkids longer and light up each others’ lives.
Now I am deeply motivated and rooted in my motivations.
Your turn. Why do your goals matter to others? How will their life and your life improve?
Perhaps it goes without saying. The deeply rooted our motivations, the more natural our commitment grows. The deeper the roots, the taller the tree.
Let’s change what deeply matters. As this year comes to a close and we face the year to come, I invite you to keep Terry's words in mind as you set your goals and deepen your motivations by asking, "Whose life will I positively impact by reaching this goal and what makes this positive impact on them so truly important to me?"
By Laurel Elders
Edited by Nancy Smyth and Sharon Eaks
That was quite the experience and led to a severe ptsd response in my body anytime someone else is driving, I'm on the freeway or flying in a plane. The fear of enduring another crash hasn't left my side in over 27 years.
Last week was the first time I road on a helicopter for fun!
It was spouse appreciation at the 943rd Search & Rescue Squadron and Davis-Monthan Air Force Base. I almost cancelled. I was terrified. I decided to push through and..... I survived! I also had such an amazing experience! No regrets!
The emotional fears are the one's that limit our potential. These fears are what we help our clients examine and become aware of so that they can remove inner-obstacles to their success.
Each Enneagram type has a unique Basic Fear and Basic Desire. Our motivations are linked up with our Basic Fear and Basic Desire.
Here is an overview of each type and the motivations beneath the behavior:
- The Good Person: has a basic fear of being defective so strives to be good and set things right.
- The Loving Person: has a basic fear of being loveless so strives to be loved and needed.
- The Successful Person: has a basic fear of being unworthy and strives to add value and be valuable.
- The Creative Person: has a basic fear of being ordinary and strives to be real and to be "me".
- The Wise Person: has a basic fear of being incompetent and strives to be an expert and obtain vast knowledge.
- The Loyal Person: has a basic fear of being unsafe and strives to be secure and dutiful.
- The Joyful Person: has a basic fear of being trapped and strives to be delighted and delightful.
- The Powerful Person: has a basic fear of being controlled and strives to be protective and challenging.
- The Peaceful Person: has a basic fear of feeling fragmented and strives for inner-peace and harmony.
Often the same behaviors, on the surface, are deceiving.
If I strive to demonstrate competence as a Type Five, I might look like a Type Three striving for success.
Yet, coaching a Type Five versus a Type Three requires a completely different perspective as the underlying motivations are vastly different.
To this end, the Enneagram offers us a powerful self-awareness short-cut for our clients to self-identify what is running the show.
Once we become self-aware, we can then shift out of our limiting patterns of the personality and step into our true gifts and human potentials.
We are ready to empower positive, insightful and eager new coaches into the world!
Learn more about the IICT 9 month Certification in Integrative Coaching!
Early registration is open.
Deadline: Dec. 15th, 2018
Orientation: January 22nd
Classes start: Feb. 5th
>> Check out graduate testimonies <<
>> Review the upcoming program <<
“She never talks to anyone. She is probably a super snob.” Said one.
“Maybe she’s stupid.” The other countered. They snickered. I looked away.
They were talking about me. They looked at me as if I wasn’t there and didn’t matter. Their words stung like a hundred bees. Years of being “the wallflower”, feeling invisible, worthless. I fought back tears that day.
That conversation, waiting for class to begin, I’ll never forget. If only they could see the real me. I was the furthest person from “a snob”. I was one of the most caring and compassionate friends you could ask for. I also had your back if you needed anything.
My parents moved my sister and I to a new state, new school, new big city in search of better jobs. I had very few friends. My sister on the other hand, adapted just fine. Me? I spent every year, year after year in the emotional anguish of feeling lonely in an ironically overcrowded world. Why?
Sadly, I agreed with the “she might be stupid” sentiment. I unwittingly equated social skills, eloquence and extroversion with real intelligence. Thank goodness, I was only very partially right. Those attributes are only a few intelligences out of a bouquet of others.
The irony? I was so shy, in my quiet observation, I was adept at noticing irony surrounding me. I would come up with hilarious jokes and share them with my best friend. When we got together with a group of friends, she would tell my jokes and have the whole group laughing. My heart sank further.
Living in a primarily extroverted society, there is often confusion around introverts. And, if you happen to be a shy introvert, it is a double whammy.
It is so fascinating to me that every extrovert I’ve spoken with, tells me they are really an introvert. I believe this is true, in part, because everybody needs down time in their life regardless of their primary hard-wiring.
Yet, I’ve learned that introverts are a physiologically unique breed, with many unique gifts and assets that are born from the solace and sensitives we come into the world with.
Today, I’ve learned to live in peace with the fallacy society cloaked around me… that I was an “inadequacy” and I just needed to buck-up and get my extrovert in-gear to be a success.
Now in my forties, years of tears behind me, I see the gifts and nuances that my many busy counterparts gloss over. Today, I embrace who I am and stand strong in my quiet resolve… my quiet leadership.
Seeing Susan Cain’s TED talk, The Power of Introverts (1), was a new era in my awareness. Not only did she effectively dispel all societal myths that introverts were lazy, snobby or unintelligent, she also illuminated the true gifts we bare to the world and to the people we impact.
Did you know that introverts are more sensitive physiologically from birth than our extroverted counterparts? (2)
This seems counterintuitive because we seem so calm on the surface. Yet, on the inside, the introvert is taking in multiple aspects to what is happening in their environment, all at once and synthesizing information on micro and macro scales.
In other words, when you stop me in a busy hallway, ask me a question and I look at you like a deer in headlights, it is not because I don’t know an answer. It is because I’m calculating all probable outcomes, including past and future possibilities and aware of who else is walking by and my potential impact on them. There is a lot going on for introverts… our internal processors are loaded like a super power.
The emotions, the details, the nuances, the red flags, the many potential outcomes, etc. It is no wonder we then need more reprieve than our counterparts that are less sensitive to their environment and therefor seek out additional stimulation.
Cain also spotlights that the shift in our society from character valuation to performance valuation has taken its toll, even on extroverts. We no longer care how much integrity, honor, or courage someone has, as much as we tend to care about how well someone can put on a performance for us, talk to us, demonstrate to us and be boisterous and fun!
As a society who began valuing performance over character, the value of extroversion is subconsciously established, unless you happened to be raised by your grandparents the twenties.
Now, Cain points out, we have science backing up the gifts of introversion, which is a valuable counterbalance, to a world running itself ragged and misplacing priorities on external bypasses.
Are people casting aside character in order to be “seen”? Has our self-development become external and therefor shallower? Is introverted brilliance being overlooked and potentials left untapped because it isn’t “showee” enough? How do these unconscious favoritism biases limit our business, economic, emotional and cultural success?
Since imbalance in any direction blocks potential, let’s eliminate the bias and get real.
Character does matter. People’s gifts do matter, internal and external. Can you see through someone’s social performance and into their heart? An introvert can. Can you look and see who hasn’t spoken and not assume it is because they have nothing to add? Can you have a team that values, honors and gives space for both ways of being? When the answer becomes yes, a greater potential is within reach.
Extroverts. Your introverted counterparts are your counterbalance. They will offer you depth of thought, care and intimacy. They will remind you it is ok to not burn out and to take “me time”. Since introverts need time to process all the information we take in, with much less stimulation needed, give us time. Don’t brush us aside too quickly. With space, we will gift you conclusions that unleash new possibilities.
Introverts. Do not allow this culture, in its current state, to fool you. Your character, depth and insights matter. They matter a lot. Many of the most transformative people in science, religion and psychology were introverts who, in their solace saw farther, imagined deeper and even extrapolated relativity.
- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain
Accidental? Yes. People don't always realize or know they are misrepresenting.
There is an ongoing practice where a professional takes their services and sweeps them all under the single umbrella of “coaching”.
This leaves their precious clients scratching their heads… believing they are coming for coaching and then getting an entirely different service. This can also pose liability issues, stating services as "X" and then delivering "Y". In some cases this has caused public confusion.
How can you avoid or fix ABM?
Simple! Place the primary service you do provide within your title. Some examples:
- Spiritual Counselor
Both companies and individuals can fall into ABM challenges.
By placing your primary service as your title, you will avoid liability, confusion and misrepresentation. Not everything that helps someone is coaching. For example, if I'm giving someone information or direction, then I'm doing consulting. If I'm giving life advice, then I'm counseling them.
What Makes a Coach?
You may be surprised to learn that trained coaches:
- Do not have an agenda.
- Do not give advice, direction, or guidance.
- Are trained to help our clients lead empowered lives and gain new skills.
Seems counter-intuitive, I agree.
Coaches are trained to help clients navigate their inner-game for outward gain.
For example, coaches are trained to help clients:
- Review skill assessments
- Facilitate self-awareness
- Enhance emotional intelligence
- Utilize strengths to compensate for weaknesses
- Facilitate personal and professional development
How do we do this? Very Socratically. More specifically, the power of skilled observation and inquiry. Coaches are trained to challenge clients with deep, provocative questions that move clients into a new ways of thinking, new awareness and new strategies.
These observations and questions ignite, invite and challenge the client to think bigger than they ever could have done on their own.
Coaches are trained to get you to reach farther and dig deeper into your natural gifts.
Coaches are trained to know exactly when, why and how to allow you to move out of self-sabotage, work from their inspiration and lead a life the client builds by design.
Why do we do this?
Simply put: Give a person to fish, they are only fed for a day. Teach a person to fish they are fed for lifetime. At some point a person's empowerment must come from within. This is where coaching steps in.
We are trained to help people navigate and grow into their own internal wisdoms, development and resources. We are here when people are ready to reach further, tackle fears and learn about their true potential.
We are here to help people access their highest potential and start living, leading and learning through that potential.
Interested in learning fundamental coaching skills and approaches? We've got you covered!
Take our Coaching Foundations online course, starting October 3rd.
Visit us to learn more: www.IntegrativeCoachTraining.com
There are two other time zones however.. the past and the future. Both of which can color how we see the current time, the now.
Today's video covers what the three time zones have to do with finding our own mastery. Enjoy!
My message (this may sound crazy at first) is to not focus on creating change at all. I invite them instead to create a new possibility. After hearing this perspective shift, I typically hear a sigh of relief, followed by, "that I can do."
Then... vwalla, the client has an opening to move into.
Ever wonder how coaching impacts change down to our wiring, our neuro-plasicity? In this innovative resource, Ann Betz reviews each of the ICF Core Competencies and how they impact the brain.
Creating a new possibility (new neuro-pathway) is easier than "changing" (an old pathway).
Enjoy today's resource is on how coaching positively impacts the brain!
Personal Happiness & Fulfillment Redefined
Learning tools that empower other people, can’t help but empower you along the way. Living with the mindset of empowerment and possibility is an incredible shift for people and a complete game changer for your future.
This is because a kickass coaching program teaches you:
- Powerful tools to get unstuck
- Perspectives that unleash your potential
- How to ask those deeply provocative questions that change lives
- To challenge your own assumptions
- How to identify your own power leaks
- Be amazed as you track your own growth
No other profession I’m aware offers such rich and fulfilling personal gain and set of new tools to use! When you get coach training, you gain access to a whole new life. You learn how to live a life where your best self gets to come forth and be in the lead.
Kobi Yamada asked, “What if the rest of your life was the best of your life?”
With coach training, your relationships are rewarded. Your relationship to others shifts from problem centric to possibility oriented. Your relationship to yourself is completely enhanced, positively impacting your physical health, emotional world and inner-critic.
People thrive when they have the tools to master their life and help others master theirs. The personal gain from transformational coach training alone surpasses the worth of the investment for many.
The tools you learn leverage you wherever you take your life. You learn how to talk to people differently, value yourself in new ways and listen in ways that heighten your understanding.
As coach you know what is possible and you bring the empowering perspectives with you wherever you go, helping people you touch move from stuck to unobstructed.
Coach training translates to anything and everything you professionally undertake.
Options Open Up
Being trained in coaching gives you the option to take on private clients and impact many people’s lives. Each person you help empower, positively impacts the people in their lives too. I’ve had wives thank me for the transform that took place in their spouse and marriage as a result of coaching.
Some people take on clients 100%. Others coach part-time on the side and still hold a job. And others do something else they love doing and coaching part-time allows them additional flexibility to travel, retire or do a hobby.
Either way, being trained gives opens up options and gives you the tools to get you there!
Attending a kick-ass coach training program is a life changing and professionally empowering choice to make. Because of its very enlightening and evoking nature, coaching puts you on a completely new path, opening you up to new possibilities.
To have training that enlivens your personal life, enhances all of your relationships and provides you with professional options so that you can create your life, on your terms, is a powerful opportunity!
Coaching teaches us to not only think outside of the box, but also shows us that the box does not even exist.
Laurel Inman, PCC
IICT Founder / Senior Faculty
>> Learn More <<
- How can I find a good school and program?
- What is unique about IICT versus other programs?
Not all professionals need the same level of training to be effective. The answer to this question depends on your goals.
If you only want a coaching skills to add to and existing modality or career path, then you wouldn’t need the full professional “PCC” level training.
If however, you want coaching to be your primary modality and you wish to work one-to-one with clients, then the full PCC training will ensure you have enough basics PCC skills to uphold professional standards and grow into a truly masterful coach.
Below is a suggested rule of thumb:
- Consultants: 30+ hours – adding coaching skills to compliment guidance
- Health practitioners: 60 hours – adding lifestyle goal attainment to health consultations
- Yoga instructors: 30 hours – adding coaching skills to group instruction
- Therapists: 60+ hours – adding coaching skills into therapy sessions
- Business owners (interface with private clients): 30 hours
Note: The International Coach Federation (ICF) requires a minimum of 60 hours “approved coach specific training hours” or “ACSTH” to meet base level coaching standards.
Becoming a full time coach or switching to coaching as your primary modality: 125 hours +
The ICF governs these "PPC" level programs as “accredited coach training programs” or “ACTP”s.
Many programs that are ACTP also offer smaller program options. For example we offer Coaching Foundations (12 hours) and Advanced Concepts (31-82 hours). Then our full ACTP program is 127 hours and includes certification.
To view IICT training options >> Click Here <<
20 year old self: “I want to do something with my life that helps people. Something that really empowers them.”
“What can I do? I can become a therapist!”
“I’m two years into my bachelors, but I want to help people now. Hmmm, why don’t I pursue this 25 hour certificate in coaching so I can start to help people while I’m still in school. Why do they call it coaching anyway?”
Day one of coach training: “OH my gosh! Coaching is not counseling at all?! It is its own unique discipline?! So, I’m not telling people what I think, what they should do or guiding them with leading questions or solutions?! I’m helping them reach their own empowerment?! This approach makes so much sense. I love it, it is also so positive and fun!! I’m hooked. I’m in.”
This was me in 2004, having no clue there was another option for helping people succeed in life other than becoming a therapist or consultant.
2005 I graduated from my first coach training program. It had happened. I had caught “the coaching bug” and my eyes had been opened to the amazing world of coaching... the world of helping people create possibility and access their potential. I was in love.
Needless to say, I didn’t continue down a therapy path after this monumental discovery. I changed my degree to Organizational Psychology with the concentration in Corporate Coaching and that was that. I was coach.
It is now 2018. I’m in my 40s. I’ve coached ever since and carry a passionately earned “Professional Certified Coach” (PCC) credential with the International Coach Federation (ICF).
In 2011 I was hired to start and run a new coach training program through Prescott College. All of which gave me deep insights and respect for the vastly budding world of coaching.
Over the years I’ve seen the title coach tossed around and with it, a key question kept arising:
“I decided to go for accredited coach training and I had a friend telling me I don’t need to. She says I can just take my background and hang my hat as a “Coach”. Is this true? That advice doesn’t feel right to me. What are your thoughts?” - Potential student pursuing training, 2017.
This is a concern that I come across a lot and is a good one to look at.
Coaching is a peer regulated industry, just like personal training for example. Would you go to a personal trainer that learned from YouTube and had a personal success, or would you want a certified trainer that had direct guidance, met rigorous standards and is following a professional code of ethics?
There is much more to the "coach" title than meets the eye.
Today I'll outline five key aspects of coaching to be aware of:
#1 - False Advertising:
I remember the first day of class I was shocked. I had NO clue, that I had no clue, what true coaching actually was. Being completely honest with you, I had an assumption that coaching was a fluffy form of counseling, guiding and motivating people. I thought I’d get my certificate, learn a few tips and then go do my own form of guiding people in the world.
I couldn’t have been more wrong and sadly many people fall into this category without even knowing it. I learned more in that first hour of coach training than I knew was possible and this new discovery completely changed the trajectory of my entire life.
Here is the “down low”: If you are granting yourself a coaching title, or your company is, and also giving people advice, guidance or strategies to follow, this is not actually coaching. Consulting, advising, guiding and/or mentoring are distinct from coaching. Coaching is a unique discipline that focusses on the client guiding themselves through a co-creative process with the coach.
Just be aware if you are doing another modality, or untrained about where the professional coaching boundary lines are, you might not be coaching.
Advice: Place the primary modality you are using, or trained in, as your title. This ensures you are marketing services correctly.
#2 - Liability:
True coaching is low liability because professionally trained coaches do not advise, guide or tell our clients what to do or not do. Client answers are client-generated and this is the professionally outlined role in the coach/client contract. Client success is also client generated. We do not diagnose or treat clients, that is the scope of a licensed counselor or therapist. Coaches are trained to challenge clients, facilitate new thinking and help them develop their internal wisdom.
As a result of training in this “Socratic” discipline, clients reach new heights and realize latent potentials waiting to be tapped into. Clients are also more motivated and inspired when the answers come from within. When people are given advice, this only activates their logical brain. When people reach their own conclusions, the logical and emotional brain is activated, making action more likely. (1)
Professional coach training teaches you exactly where, when, why and how to draw lines professionally. Very valuable!
#3 - Self-referencing:
There are things we know. There are things we don’t know. There are things that we know we don’t know. But the kicker, our blind-spots, are the areas of life where we don’t know what we don’t know.
I know that I know how to tie my shoelaces and cook a mean lasagna. I didn’t know that I didn’t know what real coaching was. I was shocked when I first found out. It was in my blind spot, but I had no clue. I had no clue I would learn over 50 new coaching skill sets.
My advice is to be very careful about being only self-referenced, because we can’t know what we don’t know. “I want to help people” is the starting point. Stand on the shoulders of the wise professionals who can guide you farther down a path and help you avoid major pitfalls or liabilities. Respecting and learning from the Sherpas of any profession, or lineage, will empower you in ways not yet thought of.
#4 - Client confidence:
Here you want to consider who your clients will be. If you are working in the corporate world, earning an ICF credential is imperative for most companies. However, if you are working for yourself, in a non-business related niche, your clients may not care as much whether or not you carry a big credential. However, the majority of people hiring do want coaches to have graduated from a training. Same with hiring a consultant. You would want your consultant to have both expertise and experience.
The ICF conducts ongoing research and found in 2016-2017:
- 77% of coach practitioners agreed that clients expect them to be certified or credentialed.
- 83% of consumers who experienced a coaching relationship reported that it was important for coaches to hold a credential.
- Consumers are more likely to recommend a coach who holds a credential than a coach who does not.
#5 - Leverage:
Having experience in a matter doesn’t equate to expertise. Here is why: There are 9 personality types according to the Enneagram and 16 according to Myers-Brigs. This means one personal success doesn’t automatically translate to other’s people’s empowerment. I have noticed a trend. Someone has success in an area and then turns that success into a program for others to purchase and follow. Unless your clients have all your personality defaults, the actual success rates of your program can only match the number of participants that share your personality tendencies, habits and thought patterns.
If you are only operating off of experiences and passion to help people… awesome! Your wisdom and compassion are needed. You can also consider taking your experience a step further and learning how to meet people where they are at through training.
My coaching business is a prime example. I overcame emotional eating and a painful eating disorder through Intentional Eating methods. I have ample personal experience in successfully overcoming this painful issue. Am I an expert in emotional eating? Not at all, I’m an expert in my own healing. So, before I hung my hat as an Intentional Eating coach, with expertise I: 1) did research to see what works best for other people and 2) relied on my coach training so that I could meet a client where they were at and not tell them what will work for them.
If however, you decide to take your expertise and do further research into how your successful outcomes show up to all personality types, you move towards expert. Be careful of the trend “make money off of your positive experience”, it can leave a lot of people upset when the approach is not working for their background, habits, value system and nature.
Coaching, true coaching, meets people exactly where they are at, leveraging their unique success formula, waiting to be discovered. Learning coaching skills and tools is the fastest road to ensuring amazing client empowerment and success. In coaching you help another human being develop and honor their potential. It is quite a brilliant process actually!
To examine the question “Do I need coach training and a credential to be a coach?” I conclude this:
Because coaching is a distinct discipline, credentialing is a personal matter relating to your unique goals. However, professional training, coaching tools and developing coaching competency is imperative to knowing what true coaching is, reducing liability/false advertisement and leveraging your unique background.
I personally see a world that needs wisdom. Coaches are facilitating new possibilities, wisdoms and transforming lives every day. Your success, wisdom and empowerment is our passion.
To learn more about training and credential options, visit: coachfederation.org/icf-credential
Laurel Inman, PCC, Coach / Mentor / Trainer. She is the Founder and Senior Faculty at the Institute for Integrative Coach Training (IICT).
‘Uh, I don’t think so.’ I thought.
Then the other day I picked up a winter hat that read, “One Size Fits Most”. Ok, now we are getting closer.
When it comes to people, one size doesn't fit all.
When it comes to a person’s success, one formula can't fit all.
This is why I caution people on expensive programs that follow one formula, instead of adapting the program to the participant.
This is why learning the Enneagram or Myers-Briggs, to name a few, can foster much needed awareness for professional development.
This is why coaching is so contagious! In coaching the formula created suits us perfectly. Coaches are our own personal tailors of success, helping us customize the path we choose.
Coaching works with us where we are at and gets us where we are going in the most empowering manor, specific to our needs and nobody else's.
What is your success formula?
Mine is getting enough sleep, doing yoga 3-4 days per week, rock climbing at least 1-2 times a month (reset button!), living the Law of Attraction, surrounding myself with empowered people and asking for help when I need it.
Getting ourselves in touch with our personal success formula, helps us be at our best when we show up to coach people into their success formula.
Coaching Challenge: Find a friend or colleague to do this activity with. Forward this article to them. Schedule 30-40 minutes and support each other in crafting your unique success formulas.
Laurel Inman, PCC
IICT Founder / Senior Faculty
Coach / Mentor / Trainer
Sometimes I get mommy brain and reply to the kids rather automatically. This time, the answer that came through for her astounded even me.
I responded, “Is it nature? Is it nuture? It is both. Yet, it is who we choose to be that matters the most.” My years in coach training and self-examination came through strong and clear.
Yes, we have hard wiring. We see this in Myers-Briggs. No matter how much I want to become an extrovert I will always be wired to need ample quiet reflective time. Yes, I can learn to be outgoing, and mimic my extroverted counterparts, but I will never thrive on socializing like my brother-in-law does. It is not in my DNA.
Yes, we also have conditioning and influence from our environment. I grew up in the country, I love outdoors and I value tradition and community as a result. My parents taught me how to love, to follow my heart and climb trees. I learned from them and will continue to gain from their love, heart and wisdom over the years to come.
At some point though, we have the awareness to look at who we’ve become and decide if it is who we want to be and what we want to do about this thing called "life".
At this point, we have a choice about who we become. When this becomes a conscious choice, we start our own path, our own hero's journey.
This point of creation is also where coaching comes in. We are asking our clients to self-identify. Who are you? What do you truly believe? What do you want? What do you value? What are your priorities?
In the Toltec teachings, I’ve learned that we must abandon our dependency on our parents in order to step into our lives as a warrior, or we will live out our life as a victim.
This phase of warrior is what establishes our independence. Then, if we choose we can step out of the fight in life and into our own mastery.. this phase they call the Master. It is an interdependent phase where our potential is integrated into the fabric of the life we've carved out.
There is one bridge, and one bridge alone, into mastery... this bridge is true Self-Knowledge. Here we are examining the vast difference between false self-knowledge and true.
Take a look (overview download below).
This week’s lesson also speaks to the fact that we sometimes have to remind our clients that they have choice over who they choose to be. This overview opens a path to help us move into "the Real", as the Sufi's say.
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~ note sitting on my desk
At the conclusion of each year I reflect on what I’ve accomplished, what I’ve learned, new wisdoms gleamed from any challenges I faced and what I wish to accomplish in the new year.
Each year I pick a word to strengthen my abilities and hold the container for my growth. This year, the word that gifted its way into my heart is “quality”.
This year is not going to be about doing more. It is about taking what I have and fine tuning it.
This year is not going to be about perfection. Perfection is an unsustainable goal. But this year will be about preparedness.
This year also won’t be about accomplishing more. This year will be about masterfully delving deeper into what is ready to flourish.
Through quality, the beacon of mastery beckons.
Through quality, we see, feel, touch and experience the optimal.
Through quality, we grow deeper roots and as the saying goes, the deeper the roots the taller the tree.
The irony is this: When we choose one characteristic to focus on,
we empower other areas of our life naturally.
By focusing on quality, more incidentally gets done. Focusing on quality, we may hit moments of perfection. By focusing on quality, more accomplishments will be had and positive growth will ensue.
I invite you to consider… what is your “quality” this year?
In Sufi traditions, a quality is an aspect of the Divine that empowers, heals, and lends to our wholeness. Focusing on one quality at a time fertilizes the entire garden of this life that we keep.
I set aside 4-6 hours of quiet retreat time to get cozy and reflect on:
- What all did I accomplished?
- What challenged me?
- What wisdoms came from the challenges?
- Lessons learned to take with me.
- Desired accomplishments for the new year.
I co-created this process with a dear friend years ago. We did a retreat day together by a fire and really allowed ourselves to go deeper into lessons and intentions. I noticed that by doing this the year ahead of me was so much more successful than the years I'd only set goals without a container of support around them.
I've now done this process and improved upon it every year since.
I hope this process is an empowering gift to you, that you will continue to gift yourself each year to come.
Happy 2018 friends!! Thank you for being here.
My family and I just bought a new home and I had previously lost all of my houseplants to a bug invasion in our prior home. UGH! Heartbreaking.
I couldn’t wait to pepper our beautiful new home with some much needed vibrant green life!
That day I tentatively took home a 5 ft. fig tree.
I’ve never taken care of a fig tree before, it looked very delicate, but figured I could learn.
I placed it by the window, gave it a decent size pot and sprayed it with mist every few days. At first it didn’t like being moved and dropped a lot of leaves. Eventually it began to thrive... no more dead leaves. Phew… home safe and I became the proud new keeper of an indoor fig tree.
A month later, vacationing in San Diego, we went walking to the beach.
What did we pass?
A HUGE fig tree. This fig tree stood 20 feet tall and each leaf was a robust beautiful green. Unlike my tree, which had a decent amount of leaves, this tree was so thick with leaves you could not see through it to the other side!
I had no clue fig trees grew that much. I was completely blown away.
Such it is with plants. They grow according to the environment around them. Plants reach their potential when the external circumstances allow for it.
What I've learned after becoming a coach is that the majority of people subconsciously believe this to be true about their life.
“Once the conditions are right I’ll…..” Fill in the blanks. "Yes, but...." The external circumstance is the escape goat when something isn’t happening right.
is that we reach our potential when
our internal environment is first enriched.
What allows you to wake up feeling amazing and moves you towards your potential? What inner thoughts, feelings and fears move you away from your potential?
allows us to live at the level of cause in our life.
Fears and negative thinking place us at the level of effect.
- Wisdom (Mind)
- Intuition (Body)
- Values (Heart - or - Spirit)
Coaching is one of the most a powerful life enrichment paths. Coaching is a spiritual chiropractic treatment, aligning our inner world in ways that enhance our outer world.
What is so powerful about coaching is that coaching meets us wherever we are at.
Coaching then: 1) introduces us to new wisdoms within the mind, 2) strengthens the intuition of our body and 3) is plentiful fertilizer to the heart because coaching honors what we value, not what someone else tells us we should value.
Enriching our inner-landscape is a complete life enhancer! We can grow ten times more when our internal world is in sync, balanced and empowered through the integrated nutrients it needs.
By Laurel Elders, PCC
IICT Founder / Senior Faculty